


stable

by maevestrom



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Autism Spectrum, Cabin Fic, Delinquents, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, Father-Daughter Relationship, Foster Care, Grief/Mourning, Horseback Riding, Hospitals, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Mild Sexual Content, Taking Ownership, Therapy, the girl who hates arguing, well kinda i mean its still me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:00:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 21
Words: 36,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25212808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maevestrom/pseuds/maevestrom
Summary: Leonie meets the daughter of the owner of the horse ranch she's worked at ever since she was a teenager.Everything falls apart and comes together from there.
Relationships: Marianne von Edmund/Hilda Valentine Goneril, Maya Kirsten/Annette Fantine Dominic, My Unit | Byleth/Leonie Pinelli, Raphael Kirsten/Ignatz Victor
Comments: 22
Kudos: 67





	1. good luck

**Author's Note:**

> This is a work in progress. I have a LOT done and a lot yet to do and they are not very much in order. I also am not sure if this will be the final title but I do love it. I really hope you enjoy this story and I do its themes justice.

Leonie can feel the way the air shifts when Jeralt first introduces her to his daughter. She briefly wonders if it's something more than first meeting jitters but pushes the thought away. It's probably not important.

Over the course of the introduction, Leonie learns that his kid's name is Byleth. She's just here to help with the grunt work while Leonie and Marianne provide the main service to the patients. She's not very good with people but she's a hard worker and can help support the others with her work. She learns all of this from Jeralt, Byleth giving her a blank look and an impersonal nod. 

Leonie tries not to look like she's just been introduced to an alien. Jeralt's a good man, helping Leonie learn how to work on his ranch since she was just a teenage foster kid. He's gruff and stony, but he gave her a path in life so Leonie's long decided that he's a good man. So she politely waves back. 

Byleth just blinks.

This should be fun, Leonie thinks, unsure if she's being sarcastic or not. 

Byleth works behind the scenes on the first day. The sight of her is all that she gets, pale green hair like the grass her horses chew on, impressive set of biceps and muscles accustomed to manual labor and impressing young lesbians like Leonie just on an objective level. Every time Leonie meets her faded eyes, a compliment to her hair, there's only a blank stare that meets back.

Leonie doesn't think of her when she's working with the patients. She's too focused on not being unbearably alienating. Sure, it's not like she's a pain, and she knows better than to treat them with her brusque no-nonsense attitude that's clearly spoken to too many lawyers and can't stop staring at the clock. She talks to them like she enjoys their time together, which she does. She can't imagine being friends with them based on limited interaction, but they're probably good people. She usually gets the ones who aren't emotional; once it was clear that Leonie didn't know what to do with a crying young lady, Jeralt started to arrange future schedules to give the vastly more empathetic Marianne more of the emotional clients. 

She can believe that it's easy for a good animal and someone who cares a little to help with an anxious heart and addled mind. They helped with hers. 

She wonders if Byleth rides. Her father's always been big on the outdoors. Has been since he and Leonie met seven years ago. That's probably rubbed off on her a bit.

Leonie tries to take advantage of having a helper. Byleth will nod when she asks Byleth to hand her the treats so she can give Cord one for being so well behaved on the rides that day (like she needs a reason to). She'll nod when Leonie asks her to clean her saddle. She'll nod when Leonie asks if she can fill up the water trough with fresh water while she's out taking an awkward teenager on a ride. She'll nod when Leonie asks her for so many little things that she starts to feel guilty and starts doing some of those little things again until Jeralt reminded her with a wizened little smirk that Byleth was there to help with those things.

About a week in (in which, yes, Leonie had already both struggled with over and underworking Byleth) she casually asked Byleth if she rode. Byleth shook her head this time. Leonie realizes that this was the first time she had seen Byleth say  _ no,  _ then she realizes that she hasn't  _ heard  _ Byleth's voice at all. That's a little weird, but she brushes it off. Maybe Byleth's just mute. She's handled a couple of mute clients and even picked up some rudimentary sign language to help them communicate with her. Marianne's better at it, but Leonie knows at least enough to be passable and considerate of others.

Later that day, Byleth ends up skinning her knee and yelping in shock before uttering  _ damn it.  _ Leonie strides over to see if she hurt herself too bad, but Byleth shakes her head, standing up. Leonie assesses it stealthily; it's not too bad, just surprising more than anything. 

When Byleth looks at her as if noticing that Leonie's looked at her calf a  _ little  _ too long, Leonie jokes "so you  _ can  _ talk". Byleth doesn't even chuckle, so Leonie just blushes and finds an excuse to leave. 

She talks with her roommate Raphael about how odd her new coworker is before she realizes she's never actually brought Byleth up to… anyone, really. She's sitting on their second-hand recliner that's still probably the newest thing they have in their little two-bedroom house. Raph is in the nearby kitchen cooking, which says everything about how small the house is that they can hold a conversation between the two room-type things. 

Raph just shrugs and says that Byleth's probably not a people person. She reiterates that it's weird. She's a hard worker, never shows signs of exhaustion, and she's built as hell so it clearly doesn't bother her. And yes, that last part  _ was  _ important enough to include.

Raph, to his credit, never teases. He says he's gonna think as they eat the eggs he just finished (four for him, two for her). She teases a few drops of chipotle sauce out of the old Tabasco bottle as Raph just goes at it like he's a mafia boss and the eggs owed him money. When he finishes before Leonie, he asks sincerely if she's fixated on this because she wanted to ask Byleth out and can't even get a reaction out of her. 

Leonie thinks and shakes her head. Raph has a gay sister so he's easy to talk to about stuff and is usually too busy eating or working out to get nosy in her personal life. Raph points out that she really thinks highly of Jeralt so maybe she just wants to get to know his kid. Leonie submits that maybe that's it so she can stop thinking of Byleth.

Then Maya pops out of the restroom. Leonie nearly jumps out of her clothes as Raph laughs and guiltily admits that he forgot she was here. Maya grabs a bite from Raph's plate. If she were anyone else Leonie would tell her not to risk it, but Raph laughs sheepishly and calls it as little sister privileges. She plops on the couch next to her brother. She looks a little dolled up, but  _ dolled up  _ to Maya just means that she's wearing more colorful garish things than usual. 

She explains to Leo without looking up that some other autistic people she knows are selectively mute. They don't see a point in it and it can tire them out. Focusing on the multicolored necklace she's wearing, she says it doesn't take much to overstimulate an autistic person. Raph laughs lovingly, clearly aware of this.  She can't stay long because Annette's gonna show soon, but the best way to communicate with Byleth is to give her space and let her relax. 

Just after Leonie nods in the affirmative, there's a skittish knock at the door. Maya runs to answer it while Raph and Leonie grin at each other like proud parents. There's an ocean of shrieking and loud  _ mwah _ s and something that vaguely sounds like plans for what they're doing. Annette has her hair down and keeps calling Raph Mr. Kirsten, which just makes him laugh like a lazy old grandpa, slapping his knee. Maya says goodbye to them both. The noise emanating from the couple can be heard for another minute until it fades away. 

Raph can't stop grinning. And Leo gets it. Maya's a kickass sister and she's always loved her. There's also no way to say anything about Annette, frazzled freshman at an esteemed college, other than that she's perfect for Maya. Despite being an Enbarr prep from off in snowy Faerghus, she matches Maya's energy, unpretentiousness, youthful buzz, and is just the type of overstimulation that could shut Maya down, only she doesn't. She doesn't, and Maya loves her, and Leo is pretty certain that Raph is gonna have an amazing sister-in-law when they're old enough. 

Leonie finally starts on her second egg.


	2. i don't know a goddamn thing

She and Marianne never hit the horses. Marianne has a supernatural ability to make relationships with animals, but she's too sweet to hurt them besides. Leo did when she first started. She's not proud of it, but she was a fifteen-year-old foster kid with butch hair, no friends, and a lot of reason to be angry. 

Jeralt caught her. She remembers daring him to scold her with her eyes, feeling a misplaced sense of fuck-you that she was too scared to say for whatever reason. (The reason is that she already burned opportunities at a lot of places and this place was as far away from other people as possible; she wasn't gonna lose it.) 

Jeralt saw the look in her eyes. She can't forget the moment even now, so she wonders if his eyes narrowed in sorrow and he sighed, or if he didn't say anything and just stared her down.)

"He's not gonna do what you say if you do that. He's stubborn, that Dorte. Guide him. Give him the commands over and over. Even if it takes a while, someone's gotta show him that someone can out-stubborn him." 

After that, she never hit another horse. She isn't sure if being stubborn eventually worked with the horses or if she just caught Dorte on a bad day. Though they never were friends, Marianne could charm every animal and probably person around her and Leonie was happy to let her start caring for him shortly after she started working here. 

It was probably what he deserved more than Leo going through the motions.

She tries not to get so mad anymore but she and Byleth are in the stable towards the end of one day. She takes the saddle off of Cord and calls her a good girl. She whinnies like she understood it. Maybe this is how Marianne is such a goddess with animals. 

Leonie goes to put the saddle away, halfway up the stepladder when she hears a dull slap and a sharp whinny. She leaps (falls) down the stepladder and swivels towards Byleth, cradling her right hand with her left. If she shows surprise, Leonie knows it's only for the leap (fall). 

Leonie lets her have it. She ends the one-sided fight an inch away from Byleth's face, standing in front of a vexed Cord with fire in her eyes. How dare she hit one of the horses there. Moreover, how dare she hit someone else's! She doesn't own the place. She's not the boss. And she damn sure doesn't know how the hell to deal with a horse if she's gonna act like a petulant fifteen-year-old.

Or something like that.

Byleth just nods. Nods before Leonie is even finished. A favorite from when she was over an adult lecturing her and wanted them to know it.

Doesn't exactly calm Leonie down.

"Oh, so now you're deaf  _ and  _ mute?" 

Leonie knows that was a real asshole thing to say. She even says so when she recounts it to Raph. 

“At least you admit it,” Maya interjects from behind her. Leo just laughs in a way that feels utterly fucked. Raph tells her to let it go but Maya argues that she’s angry and doesn’t want that to happen again. Maya gets a bad rap from a lot of people for being a “social justice warrior” but Leo isn’t good at acting like a person so she kinda appreciates it. 

“Odds are that’s just how Byleth learned,” Maya argues. “Like, it can’t be wrong, it’s what she’s supposed to do.” 

“Jeralt never hits the horses,” Leo argues. “He’s the one who told me not to when I was a shithead little kid.” 

“Well, she picked it up from somewhere. The way you describe her makes me think she either relies on what feels good or she picked up behaviors from others. And either way, she needs to unlearn it.” 

Leo nods. Raph is halfway through a large steak and Leo’s barely started her more healthy portion. 

She doesn’t know why Byleth bugs her. She doesn’t really care that Byleth doesn’t speak too much. She doesn’t really care that she’s impersonal. Maya was getting at the right thing in that Leonie was worse as a teenager, though she thinks she had reason to be. But maybe Byleth does too. Maybe there’s a lot that she doesn’t know. 

Leonie knows the routine like the back of her hand. It's not a hard and fast routine on it's own but she falls into her own rhythm. She gets to work at eight in the morning. Sometimes Jeralt is there to say good morning, and Leonie always gets a warm feeling in her gut when he does. 

She gets to the stables and feeds half of the horses, Marianne feeding the rest. She takes some on a short ride to get their muscles going, letting them graze and wander around. She imagines it to be like the short jog she takes first thing in the morning. Raphael acts like she's crazy starting so early, but she's never minded working from the start.

The patients come at around noon and after. Most of them ride behind Leonie, who's better with horses than people. She knows enough to be polite and cordial and maybe crack a joke or two, but no more. Her fat mouth has always gotten her in trouble, from when she was a kid until now. The patients, the clients, they don’t need Leonie. They need a solid horsewoman who maybe tells a joke or two. 

That's how she gets through the days- making each one similar to the last. She's spent too many of her formative years with no structure in life that now that she has some, she's pretty territorial over it.

Still, something sticks in her craw. It does all day, really. And as soon as she sees her, she addresses it. 

Byleth swerves to look at her, not knowing that she was even in the stable. It's really the only way Leonie could get herself to apologize. She's a prideful bitch, but most of the time pride is all she has. Or, at the very least, the only thing she'd like to keep. She's not prepared for Byleth to look at her with those wide, blank eyes like water in a rice paddy. The eyes never judge her, but Leo almost wishes they could because she can at least read that. 

Finally, Byleth nods. Then she clarifies "I'm not deaf. Or mute. I just don't like to talk that much." Then she closes her mouth like that took a lot of energy from her.

Leonie is somewhat alarmed that  _ that's  _ what she focuses on, but honestly, more power to her. "Aha. Okay. Anyway, I should have just told you civilly, don't smack the horses. Especially my horse." 

Byleth nods again then walks out. Leo swears that she saw her smile as she made her exit, but she probably imagined it. She isn't sure why she holds onto that as tight as she does, or why she wants Byleth to think well of her at all.


	3. here despite your destination

Byleth doesn't deliberately seek her out until next week. Leonie rationalized that things were okay because the morning after the apology Jeralt gave her another good morning and that tends to feel like a good luck charm when he does. Still, Byleth didn't actively pursue interaction… ever, really. 

Until today. 

She stands outside the stable as Leo and Cord go in. She pets Cord's mane gently and says "You rock, girl." Cordelia is a bit of a stubborn unruly little shithead, just like her owner, which is probably why they got each other. Whenever Cord refuses to go and neighs in protest like she's actually pitching a fit to Leonie… well, maybe most would get angry at her, but Leo's very oddly endeared by her. It didn't take long for Cord to become her horse, if only because Leonie didn't trust anyone else to treat her right.

Byleth's still outside the stable when Leo goes to leave. She swears and jumps at the sight of her, not expecting her to be there. She almost tells her to make a sound when she's still there when she remembers not to push it because that's not Byleth's thing. So instead, she asks if Byleth needs something. 

"Can you teach me to ride?" 

Leonie stops to think of all the reasons that's a bad idea. She's busy, she's the only one Cord tolerates, she's not a good instructor, she's gonna get mad, but the excuse she uses is that Marianne would be better. When Byleth just looks at her in dull confusion, Leo clarifies "the blue-haired girl." 

Byleth's eyes light up in recognition for a brief moment. It's the first time she's looked alive. "I scared her." 

Leonie's this close to being ashamed that Marianne rejected her like that until she works it out in her head so obviously that the mechanisms are probably visible on her face like a blueprint. "Wait. No, Marianne's just like that with everyone. Very shy around people." 

"Oh. Me too." 

The question lingers in the air. Leo resorts to the idea that she's a bad instructor a lot. That's not entirely true. Shit, it can't be. The patients that come through have- almost to a person- never ridden a horse before. Still, it's different. She knows how to handle Cord, but other horses are a big question mark. Besides, Cord is gentle around people who are naturally meek and subservient- those who aren't would get bucked off if Leonie didn't delight in telling them if they misbehaved there's no telling what Cord would do.

Leonie can generally tell what Cord will do. Not other horses. And certainly not with a woman with the grace of either a creeping assassin or a brick shithouse with no in-between.

Leo has a feeling that Byleth is not going to let it go and the more she looks at the inherent question lying in her eyes, the less resolve she has. She knows it's a bad idea, but she must have left her ability to say no at home.

"Can you meet me back here on Saturday?"

It doesn't go well.

Which, no shit, it doesn't.

A big secret Leonie has is that she's also not great at riding. She's great at riding Cord but that's because she gets Cord. Other horses… well, she's passable, and she thought that would be enough to teach someone with no experience.

As it turns out, most horses won't go the way you say just because you say it really sharply. Most horses will run around whichever way they want if they don't know you well enough to take your commands without violence, which Leo will never employ even if a horse leads her astray. And most horses will graze in the middle of the path and get their host stuck up there because she's worried about getting down.

"What if I hurt them?" Byleth asks, still sitting on the tall, unmoving horse.

"You won't," Leonie insists based on nothing, sitting atop a compliant and surely amused Cord.

"And I won't hurt my ankle?" 

"You won't," she says with more certainty. 

In retrospect, there's a certain irony in how the assertion she has no proof of is correct and the one she was confident in was wrong.

The situation is a mess. Leo started it off on the wrong foot by paging Marianne only remember a minute after that  _ fuck,  _ it's Saturday. She grabs Byleth's horse by the reins and asks Byleth if she can walk. She says she can. She trips in five seconds after trying to hop on one leg. She can't. 

"I have an idea. But you'll have to trust me." 

Byleth nods like trusting her isn't a proven bad idea.

She first shushes Cord. Gently, she tells her "You're gonna have to hold my friend for me, okay? It'll be weird, but you can do it, can't you?" Cord whines and Leo gets sterner. "Hey. You can do it. No whining." Cord makes a calmer sound and Leo sweetens the deal. Petting her on her favorite spot, she adds "I'll give you a treat when we get back. Just be nice to my friend, okay?" 

She turns to Byleth, who's trying to hide a smile. She's not very good at it. Leonie narrows her eyes. "Oh, stop. Do you want me to help or not?" 

Byleth reveals the smile. "You will. You're nice." 

Leo doesn't know how on Earth to respond to that. 

Leo helps Byleth atop Cord's saddle, though she's still afraid Byleth did a lot of the work. She gently leads Cord ahead as well as the horse Byleth rode. When said horse starts to whine and screech, Cord actually stops and huffs threateningly, making Leonie laugh. She looks up and Byleth is smiling at her, but not really a smile that finds this hilarious more than it does charming.

Leo is so confused right now. 

They make it back to the stables. Leo's lifted Byleth off Cord and onto a hay bale. Her first aid kit is next to the treats. She spoils Cord a little; she loves to. 

She can't help but let her mind wander as she bandages Byleth up. She doesn't usually get close to people physically these days, so it's definitely odd to get on her knees and all touchy-feely with an objectively attractive woman, even if it's just to wrap up her sprained ankle and she doesn't even know how she feels about Byleth in the first place. 

Byleth's limbs are taut with muscle and she's at once deceptively bulky and slim.  _ Schrodinger's Muscles, _ Leonie's brain helpfully supplies. As she tries to shut up her mind and focus on wrapping the ankle, she makes the mistake of making eye contact with Byleth. She's never noticed how unique she looks with cartoonishly wide eyes and no makeup anywhere to match her generally blank expressions. Leonie has to make herself look away, wrapping the ankle and running to get something cane-like.

Then she remembers to run back into the part of the stable Byleth is in, unmoving. "Stay put," she warns. Byleth nods and stays put until Leo returns with some wood from a hypothetical stable expansion that never got finished. The cedar 2x4 should work nicely until Byleth gets a real crutch. 

"Okay," she says. "That's taken care of." 

Then she has a thought. A thought that bursts through the walls of her mind like a cannonball. 

"Oh my God, you and Jeralt live here." 

Byleth nods in a way that tells Leonie that she's not the only thickskull in the stable. 

"As in, your dad could have helped. Or taught you to ride. Or just done anything." 

Byleth nods again.

"So why didn't he?" 

That's when Byleth finally gets it. She doesn't respond but she looks away from Leonie. She's blushing.  _ Blushing.  _ Who, what, and why? 

"I can't believe I just- ugh, we should have tried to page him." Leo throws her hands up and flops on Byleth's hay bale. "Maybe you should have asked him to teach you. He knows what he's doing." 

"Asked him too." 

Leonie's head swerves. She starts to form a sentence but stops. There's a very off feeling about all of this, and she isn't sure what to make of it. "He… said no?"

"Said he'd be busy. And that he was sick of the stables during the workweek."

Leo laughs roughly. That was almost her excuse. "That makes sense. Still…" Her thoughts crash into a dead end when she sees a hint of sadness on Byleth's face. Sadness and resignation. It raises her hackles from being doused in a familiar feeling of dread that goes away faster than it starts, but can't easily be forgotten.

_ Jeralt would never…  _ she thinks. She tries not to counter with  _ but what if he did? _

She isn't sure how to phrase what she wants to ask without tipping Byleth off, so she just clears her throat. "Sorry, I'm just thinking of how to get you back home," she lies. 

"My truck's parked out front. There's a trail home. Won't mess up my feet too badly." 

_ Too badly, she says. Too fucking badly.  _ "We can just call your dad and he can get you." 

Byleth shakes her head sternly. Leonie feels more dread by the second. She tries to get her thoughts together but she isn't sure what this anxiety translates to.

As if she herself can feel it, Byleth says "Don't worry about me. I'll be fine. Dad too. There's just things he can't do." 

Leo holds her head in her hands. She doesn't know if she believes it, but the idea of disbelieving it… she's not prepared to ask herself those questions. 

So she sighs. 

"I'm gonna hold you to that. But if anything changes, here's my number." 

She looks around and settles on the cardboard box that Cord's treats are in. She rips the top off, takes out the plastic bag and rolls it up, puts it back in, and writes her number on the top with a pen in her pocket. She hands it over to Byleth, who she feels like probably never smiled around her before because she's really smiling now and…

And…

Leonie's really trying hard not to think.


	4. what you got in store for me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm gonna go back and name the chapters on god

By the time she returns to work on Monday, she's mostly out of the worry zone. She gets there to see Jeralt by the stable, flask in hand. He thanks her for helping his kid after she hurt herself and says she'll probably be a little slow today. Leonie says it was nothing, warmth in her chest. 

"She feels bad too," he adds. "About being slowed down. She wanted to pay you back." 

Leo tries not to think about how she ended that day with suspicions towards him. It was probably nothing. "As long as she's there at all, I'll be okay." 

"That's good to hear." 

Thankfully Leonie manages to wait until the stables until she overthinks those four words. Marianne is there, grooming Dorte. Leo nods a hello, but she doesn't see it, currently having a whole conversation with her damn horse.

She's a strange one, that Marianne. 

But who isn't?

Cord is especially cooperative that day, doing what Leonie asks so easily that she wonders if she has the right horse. Maybe they bonded after the great Saturday misadventure. Leo leads her to the stalls, calling her a good girl like she's Marianne or something. 

She sees Byleth in the stable putting bags of food on the shelf and waves hello. Byleth just nods. It isn't until Leo puts Cord away and gives her a treat that she looks at Byleth again.

She's still using the 2x4.

Granted, her limp is considerably duller than expected, so it wasn't that bad, but Leo figured that… well, she  _ wouldn't  _ be using a plank of wood as a crutch days in. Byleth uses the plank to better push in the bags which is resourceful, but the whole scene really makes Leo double-take a lot of things. 

After she finishes, she goes up to Leo. Leo realizes a little late that she was staring (out of  _ concern,  _ thank you) and tries to look away. She feels Byleth's gaze leave her own body, but before she can apologize, Byleth stands next to her, leaning on the wall.

"Would you like to go fishing this weekend?" 

Leo shrugs. "Sure." 

Leo doesn't know if she was asked on a date. If they've even built a shred of romantic tension. If she did things that Byleth mistook for romantic come-ons. If she minds if Byleth took it that way. How best to make a strategic exit. If she should take it back.

She gets a text. It's from an unidentified number. It says  _ Saturday. 1pm. There's a lake here _ . She swerves around to see Byleth put her phone in her pocket.

Ten seconds later, she takes it back out. 

The message is from Leonie. 

_ Thanks _ .

Leonie tries to casually drop that she's going fishing with Byleth Wednesday night to Raph. Maya has Annette over and they're all eating spaghetti on the couch and recliner. Leonie's been on the recliner all evening because when Annette visits she and Maya share the recliner, but Leonie's tired and isn't gonna let them take it worth a fuck. So she and Annette are on the couch next to Raph and his mountain of spaghetti that's the size of all three of their portions combined. Annette apologizes for taking up extra space on the couch. Maya takes a look at her statue of a brother and says "never apologize." 

Either way, Leonie tries to get a word in edgewise but Annette and Maya together talk so much that she thinks that maybe they ate Byleth's words. Maybe she gets the feeling of overstimulation now, going from a day of relative quiet to having a movie recounted by Mrs. and Mrs. Motormouth. Raph is all into it, being a fan of movies and his sister, and Leo's a fan of Maya and Annette, but right now she's more a fan of peace and quiet. 

_ Saturday actually sounds appealing, _ she decides. A few hours of peace and quiet, just her and the weird girl from work. Honestly, at this point, even if Byleth were to say nothing at all she'd appreciate it. The world moves so fast that so much just becomes background noise like the blabbering that Maya and Annette are sharing. Byleth doesn't say much but that just means Leo has to zero in on it.

"Oh, uhm, are you thinking about something, Miss Pinelli?" 

Leo blinks as Annette addresses her directly, wide blue eyes sincere as can be. It's like the kid is made of unfiltered purity. ( _ Kid-  _ she's 21 and Maya is 20, that's four years younger than-)

As if reading her mind, Maya snorts. "Miss Pinelli?  _ Really?  _ You frickin' dork." 

Annette hits her with a throw pillow. Raph comically ducks. "I  _ can't  _ just call her Leonie! Gosh!" 

"Well, you just did!" 

A gasp. "Oh! I'm sorry, Miss Pinelli!" 

Leonie shakes her head. "I'm with Maya. I don't care if you call me Leonie." As Annette nods with the firmness of a soldier, Leo remembers. "Ah yeah. I'm going fishing with a friend on Saturday."

Annette blinks. "People still do that?" 

"Guess so, Nettie. It's so two centuries ago, but whatever." Maya isn't looking at Leo when she asks "Who's the friend?" 

"Byleth." 

Maya visibly thinks. Annette helpfully whispers "thinking time!" 

"The girl with green hair." 

" _ Whoa. _ " Maya gasps less dramatically than usual, which is proof that it's real. "I thought you didn't like her." 

"Well-"

"Like.  _ Really _ didn't like her." 

_ We get it, Maya.  _ "I never  _ hated  _ her. I just didn't know what to do. But after the whole horse riding thing Saturday I guess we bonded in a weird way." 

"Huh. Gotta say, I really didn't expect a real answer. I figured you'd tell me to fuck off or something." 

Leonie laughs. "Jesus, Maya, do you  _ want  _ Annette to think I'm a bitch? No wonder she's scared to call me by my first name!" 

Maya softens up. "Sure, sure," she says, but there's a weight in her eyes that tells Leo that she thinks she struck a nerve and will stop. And she almost tells Maya to not worry so much until she thinks and decides maybe Maya accidentally  _ did  _ strike a nerve.

"You know I'm sorry about being rude to you for the first week or so you were here, right?" 

Byleth nods. Her ankle's a lot better but she still has the 2x4 for leverage. She uses it to pull a closed bucket of feed over. "Already said that?" 

"Yeah, yeah, I was just…" 

Byleth just smiles and keeps working and Leo decides not to say anything about how she was just thinking about it a lot that day.

Saturday rolls around. Leo's up before the rest of the house as usual. Like it's a workday, she jogs about a mile. It's so effective she feels like she can skip coffee, but like hell she'll ever make  _ that  _ mistake again.

Maya is the first to wake up, wearing the suit pajamas she splurged a hundred bucks on. She pours a cup of coffee and sits in the recliner that Leo left available for her. The two are remarkably quiet, but there's no tension in it. 

Eventually, as Leo goes to get up, Maya asks what time she's gonna meet up with Byleth. She holds up both hands to represent ten, and Maya just points at the clock. It's seven-thirty.

"Shit." 

Maya snickers a little, making Leo glower. "To be fair, it's like an hour to where I'm going." Maya still barely holds in laughter but says no more. It's Leo who asks "what's so funny?"

"It's just kinda cute, you know?"

"Cute?" 

"To see you make these little mistakes. You're usually on top of it, but these make you more like us, you know?" 

Leo isn't sure what to say to that so she shrugs. 

"Not trying to embarrass you," Maya adds. "Just for the record. I'd have felt weird if I didn't say that." 

"Oh, I know." In fact, Leonie's kind of glad Maya has no filter. It means that whether she's being blunt, rude, fluffy, sweet, or anything really, she's always honest. Leonie can trust her. 

"Just wanted to make sure you knew. I'm really glad you're going today." 

"You are?" 

Maya nods, still half-sleepy. "It means she saw something in you. And that means you're doing  _ way  _ better with her than I thought. And if you can figure out how to, like… tap into that…" She sleepily mimics an explosion with her hands. "Boom. New friend." 

Leo smiles. "That's a nice idea. I'll do my best." 

"You got this, Lee." 


	5. here, all i can keep is now

Leo doesn't know why her getting up and ready so early was amusing until she gets to work and finds herself anxious at every minute past ten that Byleth doesn't show. At that point, she can concede that she's distantly amused at how she's behaving. 

Finally, she whispers "thank fuck" when she sees a truck pull out of the dirt road to the ranch. It's a newer model and matches Byleth's muscular thickness, even overcompensating. The truck bed is largely empty aside from a few fishing rods and a bucket locked beneath a clear plexiglass top. 

Byleth sticks an arm out the window and that's all the notification she needs. 

She may have been a little eager. 

Leonie realizes that the property is bigger than just the ranch area she and Marianne spend all their time in when it takes eighteen minutes to get to the little pond area, and even then she sees a lot of dirt roads she's never traveled or will have reason to travel confluence into this one. If Leonie was an outdoorswoman she'd see this as a playground and not be slightly intimidated like she is. 

When they arrive, Leo jokes "I hope you know the way back."

Byleth nods, a twinkle in her eye.

Leo always imagined fishing as something one would do to get food. She doesn't get hunting just for the sport of it. If she ever had to do anything dangerous it damn sure wasn't for show. She doesn't think Byleth is trying to impress her either, but there's no real reason behind this and she can't imagine fishing for fun. 

It takes less than ten minutes for this to turn into a game of sitting still and chilling out and, for Leonie, observing Byleth. She seems in her element, line in the water, eyes closed, the same small secretive smile on her face like there are a thousand thoughts in her head and none change her emotion. Leo already worked to copy her fishing methods but finds that just observing her is doing the trick of making her bliss out.

Leo could ask her a million questions about her and Jeralt- largely the latter, as he's quite cagey for someone that's employed her for so long. Still, there's another part of her that doesn't mind the peaceful placidity of her surroundings and fishing partner. 

To her surprise, Byleth speaks first.

"Dad never told me about you." 

Leonie sucks in a breath. She'd never known that. She just sort of assumed that… well, maybe she's not important enough to give regular updates on, but she suddenly feels like contraband. She chokes out "well… that's interesting. I, uh…" She doesn't successfully hide that she's hurt. 

Byleth pats her leg for the briefest of moments. Leo's  _ definitely  _ gonna think she's imagining that. "If it helps, he never told you about me either. Probably." 

Leo tries to think of whether or not Jeralt ever mentioned her and she forgot. She generally doesn't tune into parent/child talk out of a reflexive need to not see others flaunt what she was never afforded. Byleth says "it's okay. He's… like that." 

The more time Leonie spends around Byleth, the less easy she feels about Jeralt. She doesn't like it but would prefer being ignorant far less. 

She learns about Byleth. More than she expected. Judging by how plainly she speaks, Leo can't tell if she's emotionally affected by it or not. She learns that Byleth's mom died in childbirth and, as such, Jeralt tends to be distant. He's responsible, keeping Byleth out of trouble and paying the mortgage off of this place. "He's never not involved." A small pause. "Should be involved more." 

Leo nods. She feels that.

Byleth lived in the property for a few years that Leonie was working here. Leonie thinks but can't recall ever seeing someone who looked like Byleth, but Byleth says that's probably because she didn't really leave the cabin they live in. "If I saw you," Byleth adds, "I'd remember you."

Leonie doesn't know if that's a flirt or just the honest truth and she does not feel capable of discerning.

Byleth mentions not really being able to do much schooling until around the eighth grade, but when she went to her first public school she was prepared enough to do well. She went to a public college in the Myrddin area but never really had a direction, so when her dad called her back recently for her help, it didn't hurt much to leave.

"Even leaving your friends?" 

Byleth looks away, face falling ever so slightly. It's an answer enough.

"Sorry." 

Byleth smiles. It's somehow the saddest she's ever looked. "It's okay. I have friends now." 

Leonie points at herself in surprise. "Me?" 

"I hope." 

Leonie nods, feeling the weight of the matter. If she's one of the only friends Byleth has… she needs to be a better friend. 

Leo doesn't get the chance to talk about her story before Byleth feels a tug on her line about two hours in. Her eyes light up and she starts reeling it in like she's a woman possessed, the spin cycle looking inhuman. 

"What the fuck?" Leo blurts aloud.

"Heavy," Byleth informs her. 

And in ten seconds, Leo confirms it as Byleth pulls it above water, punctures its head with an ice pick she  _ apparently  _ has and tosses it on the shore behind them. It doesn't even flop around. 

And it's the size of Leo's forearm.

She isn't sure where to start so she does what she does best in unfamiliar situations- she makes a joke. "Honestly I thought the entire time there was just no fish here." 

"Stream here feeds into the pond. We get fish that follow it." 

Leonie doesn't know why Byleth felt the need to honestly elaborate but she can't deny that she's grateful for it.

"Good job, By." 

Byleth just beams. There's something fuzzy in Leonie's chest as she sees it.

Byleth takes it to the stable area where there's a small counter area set up for her to efficiently debone, descale, and prepare the fish for cooking. Leonie stops gawking at how fast Byleth did so and lights a fire for the furnace. She's gonna help in some way, damn it. 

"Sorry we don't have any seasoning," Byleth says as it cooks. 

"It'll just taste fresher." 

"That's good." 

Leo folds her hands, standing next to Byleth. She's a head taller than Leo but definitely a gentle giant. Usually, Leo's a little nervous of people bigger than her, though she's scrappy and can hold her own in a fight. (She's surprised a lot of creeps that way.) Still, Byleth is the antithesis of scary. 

"You've been talking a lot more." 

"I'm more comfortable around you." 

Leo blushes. She kind of hates how dorky it looks but at the same time kind of loves the rush.

She doesn't know Marianne is here until she returns with Dorte. The first thing it does is remind her of Cord. She runs to her spot in the stable where she loves on her for a solid five minutes and feeds her three treats even after Marianne says goodbye to Dorte. 

Leonie finally returns to Byleth to be reminded that Marianne does, in fact, exist. She's leaning on the fence and watching Byleth cut the fish into three portions with those dark, sleepless eyes. "Giving Marianne a portion," Byleth explains. "All good?" 

Leonie snorts. "You caught it. You decide. I don't tell my friends how to share their lunch with me." 

Marianne quietly thanks her and Byleth blushes. Leo isn't sure why she's so honored… or why she's blushing too.

The three eat their portions on paper towels, leaning against the fence. The fish is so tender it nearly falls apart. Leo has to alternate between delicately picking chunks out to eat and stuffing her face. It's pretty bland without seasoning but  _ does  _ taste natural. 

"I like this," Marianne pipes up.

"It's pretty good," Leo confirms. Byleth nearly hides her face in her serving. 

"Well, that, but… the three of us just… being here, on the weekend, just doing our own thing together and eating fish. It feels…" Marianne pauses as if finding the words.

"Feels like we're in control," Byleth finishes.

Leonie would never have guessed that in a million years, but the more she thinks about it, the more she agrees with the two women. All three of them, she imagines, have experienced life often outside of their control, reacting to the circumstances or turtling for safety. And now, here they are, doing their own things with the control they have. 

It's times like these that Leonie wishes she needed little more.

Leo comes home alone. Maya is out with Annette because it's a day ending in Y, and Raphael is at the gym because it's a day ending in Y. She's worn out as hell in a way she didn't expect after such a chill day. With a little bit of shame, she goes straight to bed just to lay down.

Her "room" is more or less an insulated garage. She moved in with Raphael based on an online ad. She'd just aged out of foster care and was desperate so she took it even though he nakedly lay the details out in the ad that she'd move into the garage. She trusted him from the moment she learned that he already intensively insulated and prepared the garage, and he scratched his head because he just saw it as basic decency.

Maybe it was. But Leonie had lost faith that decent people existed.

On her nightstand is a desk lamp, an empty water bottle, and a small necklace that didn't really fit her anymore but had sentimental value. In the center of rough twine is a small metal charm that Jeralt made her. "To officially welcome you to the team," she remembers him saying vividly. She also remembers thanking him and waiting until she got home to cry her eyes out. 

She finally belonged somewhere, and she was okay coasting on it… but whether or not she meant to, Byleth was raising her suspicions on him. Even if he's still a good man, something doesn't feel right.

But without him, who is she? 

She doesn't know if she can ever answer that. 


	6. the days and the nights all feel the same

It's become a routine by this point.

(The drive or Byleth?)

Byleth drives the same route from the main road to the stables. Leonie plays some folk artist that compliments the silence between them. It takes about six minutes to get there and eight to get back. When she walked it used to be between twenty and thirty. The only thing that's changed is that for a while the tension that's long dissipated is now a whole new sort of tension and Leonie actually likes how it feels, like her decisions  _ matter. _

On the way back Byleth asks how her day went. Leonie's usually vague about the day because she's usually too tired to go into detail and the ending of her duties hitting earlier with Byleth as the handy still throws her off. Byleth will say a thing or two back that she did and then it goes quiet save for the music from Leonie's phone, sitting untethered in the cupholder until they get to the road and Leonie hops out to her crummy coupe. 

Over the weeks that go by, Leonie tries to figure out what Byleth's voice reminds her of. There's no particular reason that's not just idle curiosity. Perhaps because it's so rare to hear, Leo wants to decipher such privilege. It sounds… like something outdoor. Not a flower, but not gravel. It's feminine- or whatever the term behind that construct is- but not high pitched or erratic. Despite occasionally stuttering and often using short, clipped sentences, she sounds like a practiced speaker.

The best she can figure out is that Byleth sounds like smoke. Smoke from a campfire at night that has already started to disappear so sharply that one didn't know that smoke was there. 

And that's how Byleth feels too. Warmth in her belly that Leo has to chase, to cherish, to keep her mind fixated until they meet again.

They fish every other Saturday, then eventually every Saturday, and the sessions get longer. The first either ended after an hour or after they caught a fish, whichever came last. Byleth slowly starts to set up a station to cleanly prepare fish. Even if they don't catch anything, Byleth has one in a cooler for lunch. She never gets insistent that Leo stays and that's because Leo would anyways.

Eventually, the stretches become hours long. Some days Byleth talks a lot- for her, at least. Sometimes she doesn't talk at all. Leonie realizes that it's hard to pick up the slack but she does. Eventually, Byleth knows the Kirsten and co family unit like she's met them herself. Sometimes she talks about her upbringing in vague details. Byleth looks at her like there's more but never says anything. 

Byleth probably doesn't realize it yet but she's done an amazing job at making herself a small corner of the little ecosystem here. It feels like she's taking Leonie on a journey with her all while staying put. 

The first time Leo catches a fish is eventful because after she ecstatically pulls it up it wriggles off the hook and dives into the water. Leo took six sessions to get  _ anything  _ on that hook and isn't about to let it go, so she dives in and grabs it. If it weren't so slippery one grab would do, but after ten or so she leaves, soaked to the bone, with the fish in hand. Like a crazy bog witch with her offering, she crawls out with the fish over her head. Byleth cracks up while helping her out, and soon they peel back to the garage. Leo notices they drive by a leather bottle-looking thing but she's in no shape to go on garbage duty. 

It's just the two of them that day. As Byleth cooks, she asks Leo what she wants on it. As it turns out, she did buy plastic silverware, paper plates, and some nice spices and sauces. Leo stares in awe a little too long at the amount of charge Byleth took in making her little setup. She almost doesn't feel worthy enough to make orders, but she says what she wants because maybe if she does this place might partially become hers. 

It only feels gradual because Leonie is naturally impatient. Probably because the old routines have been static for too long and routines that lead her on a journey… those are new and nice. She enjoys the rush of her feelings changing in live time, even if it's a little scary. Okay, more than a little. It's more vulnerable than Leo likes to be, and it makes her softer than she's okay with, but Byleth's safe for this bizarre conduction of her own feelings. 

Being around Byleth grows from being a pleasant change to her desired place. She isn't sure what to make of it. It's not because Byleth is different or unusual. It's because she's nice in a way that shelters Leonie from a world too harsh for too long. Leo isn't used to someone being so gentle to her. She can't imagine what Byleth is thinking. 

The drive becomes the nicest eight minutes of her day. She enjoys the tinny music, the same trail through the property, the way Byleth is so focused on the road ahead, the way that she says goodbye to Leo as she leaves the truck. It's always bittersweet. Leo isn't used to having someone acknowledge her in something so minuscule. Raphael and Maya are sweet, but they leave Leo alone a lot. They have other things that are important. She's sure Byleth does too, though… so why does Leo feel like a part of her life even if she doesn't need to be?

Why does Leo feel that Byleth is the same? Leo feels what she was missing out on and her life seems empty without Byleth and the heart she has. How she became the most important person to Byleth.

One day she cries in her car when Byleth's truck leaves. She isn't sure why. Maybe because of how crushingly lonely she feels without her. Maybe because of how fresh these feelings are to her. Maybe because she wishes she was always close to Byleth. None of it seems quite right, but they scratch and claw at something close.

Jeralt doesn't visit them as often. He's usually in his cabin on the other side of the property. It used to be that he'd climb down from his personal Mount Olympus and visit the adoring and the grateful. Now, he stays where he is a lot more and the three become more self-sufficient. Leo informs Byleth what she needs to be done with a please and thank you. Sometimes Byleth just nods. Sometimes she tells her "okay, Leo." Sometimes she's very dark and brooding and Leo can't get through it enough to ask her why. 

Leo takes the empty bottle flask from the pond area and sets it on the tail bumper of Jeralt's old truck he never uses anymore so when he goes to the parking lot he sees it. 

Byleth sees it later and shakes her head. Leo can’t figure out what mistake she made, but maybe she’s not supposed to know. It’s gone next time she passes by. 

One Friday, Byleth asks if they can take a long drive back to the road. Leonie's bone-tired because Cord didn't cooperate well with a patient and things escalated and the fact that she's proud of not lashing out at them for hitting Cord is kind of sad, but she really owes Maya for keeping her cool. She's still ending the day tired as hell. 

But Byleth offered, so Leo says yes. 

Leo realizes how little she's seen of the ranch when Byleth takes her on a drive through the nearby forest, the dirt road enough to jostle and rock the seat like a massage chair in the mall. It feels nice, but the surroundings look bizarre in their purity. The forest looks so untouched that it could be anywhere and yet nowhere at all. Leonie is so used to doing things in familiar paths because they're the only paths in her life that haven't led her astray and yet… she's here, everywhere and nowhere, not feeling perfectly safe but feeling  _ more _ than usual. 

"I'm gonna fall asleep," Leo warns, and she does. She dreams of nothing. When she wakes, she has Byleth's tan flannel jacket draped over her like a blanket and the CD player is getting active use since she forgot to turn her phone on. It's wordless ambient rock that sounds like a soundtrack to fields of grain swaying to the wind, or in this case, the light pouring in through the trees, patches between the shadows of the forest. Byleth is asleep as well, only in a black training bra and her shorts. Leonie tries not to check her out too much but… give her a break, really. 

She focuses on the music. It helps her to daydream and she can't separate those daydreams from Byleth. She doesn't know the property and she doesn't know Byleth very well, but she's keen to explore them a little more.

She isn't sure if she falls asleep or just drifts off but when she opens her eyes again it's nearly sundown and Raph has texted asking if she's doing something fun. She isn't sure how to respond yet but she lamely replies that she'll be home soon.

Byleth is awake and lazily looks at her. "You're right. This was nice." 

Leonie just blushes and thanks her. She isn't sure about what yet. Maybe for the way Byleth smiles afterward like she knows why she's emoting so much.

Her voice sounds… not like a tangible thing after all. Maybe not smoke or fire or gravel or anything else.

It just sounds like she's glad to hear it.

Byleth drops her off at the main road. Leonie jokes "same time next week" but the look she and Byleth exchange want for things they aren't sure they can define yet. 

"I think I had her all wrong," Leonie tells Raph in a voice confident enough to display desire. "She's a really cool person." 

He just smiles and claps her back. Then he says he doesn't remember the last time she was so happy.

Leo can't argue. She wonders if that's good or bad, or maybe the past just doesn't matter at this point.

When the workweek starts she remembers that she gave Byleth her work number because she gets a call right as she starts her early morning jog.

"Hey, B." 

Silence. 

"Uh… hey. Are you there?"

Silence, save for some rustling sounds.

"Was this like a pocket dial?" She didn't even know flip phones could  _ do  _ that.

A throat clears. Leo hears ragged breathing. 

"Okay, By. Seriously, you gotta tell me what's up. I'm starting to worry about you." 

"Sorry, sorry." 

Byleth sounds like she's trying not to cry, which isn't very comforting considering Leo didn't know she was able to cry. 

"Byleth, are you okay?" 

"I'm just… not sure how I should say this properly." 

Leo's gut drops. The world seems distant. The memories of the past seem to run from her and she always wanted that until now when she realizes that, as shitty a foundation that it was, it was her only foundation and she built everything there.

"If it helps… I think I know."


	7. have we ever really lived in better times

Mount Olympus is empty. 

He's not dead yet, but they don't have a feeling that they'll see him in the cabin again. 

"He was only forty-five," Byleth says. 

" _ Is. _ " 

Byleth doesn't respond and Leonie feels like a childish fool. 

Byleth takes her straight to his cabin. She says she has a key and Leonie just obliges. They don't play any music. They're thinking too much. 

Marianne is waiting for them. She says she took the liberty of canceling their sessions that day. Leonie nods and then checks out the cabin. It's two bedrooms and electricity is low and the phone signal is weak-to-nonexistent. The rustic nature is charming in a way that gives her an uncomfortable feeling.

Byleth paces around, kinetic energy bubbling and building like a soda can about to burst open. She can't sit still and she can't speak. Leonie has a ton of questions but would feel awful asking her, so she walks around until she imagines Byleth would stop her. 

Byleth's room is easier to tell as hers because there's barely anything in it. A plain bed, a mostly empty closet, and a stack of books on a chair. It looks like she just moved in today, not months ago.

She manages three seconds in Jeralt's room before the smell of alcohol and suffering overpowers her. 

She doesn't look at Byleth when she returns. She feels like she failed her somehow.

Eventually, after going back and forth between Jeralt's room and the outdoors Byleth tells her that it's cleaner now. "But I can't tell. I'm desensitized." 

Marianne goes first before Leonie can even say anything. She comes out and deems that it isn't bad. Leo thanks her but rather than go in herself she elects to shake in place. Byleth's eyes widen and she sits next to Leonie. A hand is placed on her knee. 

Eventually, Byleth offers to go in with her. Leo just looks at her with tears in her eyes. This should hurt Byleth more than her, but she wants to break so badly. 

But she exchanges a look with Byleth and she looks just as sorry. 

So she accepts the offer.

Jeralt's room doesn't look right. In some ways, it feels like Byleth's, but without the unique ergonomics of natural emptiness. How many things did Byleth throw out… 

Jeralt's bedding is stained yellow, the color faded. The bed frame is cracked, not broken. The bookshelf is stacked with what looks like almanacs and guidebooks. There isn't an empty space there.

There's a guitar in an open case. It's kept in pristine condition, wooden and black in a homemade paint job. On his nightstand are some long-dead flowers. Little pink puffs litter the floor nearby. Something about it hits her in the gut and she shivers, kneeling down. 

"Valerians have a sweet scent and can grow to be five feet tall," Byleth explains like she's quoting one of her dad's almanacs. "It attracts many flies." Thankfully none are in there, but the stems look chewed and raggedy. "Dad never was good at flowers. He was… set in his ways." 

Leonie knows what Byleth means by that and takes her hand. She's shaky and sad and can't hide it, but says that she's sorry. She's sorry for so much that she's scared to elaborate what for, so she lets it rest there for Byleth to apply meaning to.

"I had a feeling," she says later. Marianne looks down, sitting on the bench in front of an old piano. Leo just looks up at the ceiling, waiting for it to cave in.

When Byleth's father called her and asked if she'd come help, she knew why. That's all she admits, but Leo knows what she means. Leo can't imagine how she's not cripplingly sad. Maybe she's just not showing it. Either way… the amount that Byleth had to shoulder amazes her.

"I'm so proud of you," Leo says. She doesn't look to Byleth but reaches for her hand. After a few seconds, Byleth  _ oh _ s and takes it. Leonie strokes her knuckle over and over and Byleth finally relaxes a little. 

Marianne plays a few songs from the old piano that Leonie doesn't recognize. She doesn't sing anything but the melodies are nice, kind, otherworldly, even with a few rusted keys and off notes. 

"Aren't you mad that I never told you?" 

Leonie looks at Byleth. She looks tired, more tired than sad though certainly both. Leonie immediately comes up with a thousand justifications but decides that Byleth probably won't care about them at all. Though if she does, she'll repeat them.

She just says "I'm not. I understand." 

"I don't like keeping secrets." 

"Then I promise that you never have to keep anything from me again." 

The three of them decide to stay the night. 

"Dad had me sign as an owner of the property," Byleth admits. Leo realizes that it's what she was hiding before. "Can't remember his excuse. Just that I saw right through it." 

Leo tries to smile but she can't when she realizes that Byleth probably expected this all along. 

Leonie and Byleth fall asleep on the couch. Marianne had already left for a while to get phone service. Probably to talk to her pink-haired girlfriend. Byleth gave her tips on how to find a decent signal without hiking into town. Leonie thanks her for staying. Marianne says some onomatopoeia that meant to be words and left, so the two of them fell asleep. 

When they wake up Byleth is drooling into Leonie's shoulder and Leonie has her face buried in Byleth's hair. Leo doesn't remember who woke who up but they didn't stay that way.

Byleth goes into the kitchen cupboards to find them something to eat. Leo dozes off again and misses how close Byleth's body was. It was just… comforting.

A cabinet slams shut and Byleth swears loudly. Leonie's spooked into third gear already and dashes into the kitchen. Byleth's standing above the sink, digging into the counter, breathing like it's her last over and over. Leo's scared to see the person she trusted as most in control fall apart like this, but it's about time. 

Leo holds her arms out and Byleth doesn't hesitate on what the gesture means. 

"It's okay," she says as Byleth cries apologies into her shoulder. "We can get some food tomorrow." 

The cabinet is cracked open, very nearly empty. Leonie curses Jeralt for taking poor care of himself and his kid, even knowing that it hurts to condemn him right now. He's too significant a part of Leo's life, but… he's the reason his daughter is crying in her arms under the belief that everything is her fault. 

Marianne comes back and sees them both on the couch, Byleth resting against Leonie's chest. She closes the door with a smile but doesn't address it.

"The animals were spooked," she explains. "It was empty and I fed them late. I had to calm them down." 

Leo asks about her girlfriend, if she's okay on her own. Marianne giggles- can she do that? And can she do it more often? It's  _ cute _ \- and says that it's nice that she thought that. It drops from there and Leo assumes she's okay. 

The sleeping arrangements are simple after Byleth says flat-out that she and Leo will share her bed. Leo sputters indecently and says  _ we will?! _

Marianne nods with a coy smile and says she doesn't mind sleeping on the couch. Leonie notices the mirth in her eyes and she wants to tell Marianne not to have too much faith in her. 

Marianne says she'll start a fire in the furnace that Leo didn't notice. Byleth tells her where things are and gives her a  _ good luck _ . Leo thanks her and- to her current consternation- goes into Byleth's bedroom.

They cut the light in favor of a lamp on Byleth's nightstand. Leo climbs in first, trying to get comfortable. Byleth throws Leonie a pair of sweats and a white t-shirt, looking casually until Leo asks her to turn around. Byleth nods and does as asked. 

Byleth is giant compared to Leonie and her clothes feel like a circus tent, but she can't deny her heart racing a little as she gets them on. Leo turns around to thank Byleth, only to learn that Byleth doesn't wear a bra or understand personal space. 

After she finishes putting on her pajamas, she turns to a deeply flustered Leonie. Without blushing herself or showing any shame, she says "you could have just turned around." 

Leonie concedes this and apologizes, but Byleth just chuckles like she  _ knows. _

The two lay on their side facing each other. Byleth is weary but manages to scrounge up a smile. Leonie looks away from her direct face until Byleth pulls her chin up. Her expression doesn't change- not even the deep blush that Leonie surely is wearing.

"Thanks for your help," Byleth says. "It was… nice to have you there." 

"I can't take all the credit." 

"Marianne was good too. But I'm glad that you're here." 

Leonie closes her eyes because if she can't see how embarrassed she looks, then maybe Byleth won't either. 

Yeah. Like that's gonna work.

"I just didn't want to leave you with all of this alone. I mean… that's your dad." 

Byleth breathes in a huff that Leonie feels on her skin. "Yeah. Yeah. I know he means a lot to you too."

"He did…" She still hates that Jeralt never talked about her. Now she has to. 

"I… used to be a foster kid until I aged out of the system. He gave me a job and a path even when I was a bratty teenager mad at the world. I… I owe a lot to him." 

"Oh." 

Leo sighs. "Yeah. Oh. But that's not my point. He means so much to me but… I'm so sorry he did wrong by you." 

"It's not your fault." 

"Yeah, but…" Leo sighs again. This is as hard as they say. "I just… hate that he did that to you. You're a good daughter and an amazing woman, and… even though I've never had like… he should have been a better father." 

Byleth just smiles. "Thank you." 

Leo smiles back, even though it's obvious that Byleth didn't see the subtle intent in her words. "Of course." 

"The way you spoke of my dad… I think if he knew just how much good he was doing…" Byleth waves it away. "I don't know. Maybe he would still be this way. Maybe he'd know that… he should still be alive. Maybe he'd know… he means something." 

Leonie nods, eyes closed. "I'll tell him if I can." 

Byleth's smiling when a feeling of a hand in Leo's makes her open her eyes. Byleth isn't just smiling the vaguely blank but content smile she always does. There's emotion in them like fireworks lit up, and Leo's heart leaps into her throat.

"I don't want you to leave, Leonie. My life is better because you're in it." 

They wake up early the next morning in the same positions and for some reason, Leonie kind of wants Byleth to be her partner.

At the very least, they're partners in this.


	8. don't stop here, I've lost my place

"I'm going for a run." 

Byleth doesn't even say anything; she just nods and starts the coffee. Marianne is still asleep and Leo commends her for wearing earplugs. She and Byleth aren't loud sleepers, but they get up at ungodly hours. 

About ten minutes in she finds a bit of signal and finds it prudent to send Raph a message. She already told him about everything on a phone call and refrained from telling him to stop feeling sorry for her (her tongue still has punctures in it). She just tells him she'll swing by and get some stuff, then they're gonna visit Jeralt. After that, they're gonna need to hold the fort down until they figure out what's next. 

She ends it with  _ I miss you and Maya and even Annette. Tell them I said hi, okay? _

When she returns, Marianne says she's gonna stay behind and take care of the horses while they run errands. The pink-haired girl Hilda might also be there. These are all things that Leonie sort of expected and Byleth doesn't object, just making the coffee. Marianne looks concerned until Leonie says that's the closest thing to an okay as she'll get.

Goddess, Marianne's giggle is cute. 

Leonie unbuckles as they approach the main road. Byleth puts a hand on hers and places it back on the seatbelt. It's probably a nonverbal day for her, but that's okay. Things already started off weird when they  _ left  _ the ranch so early and Leonie isn't driving home alone. 

Leonie requests that they go by her and Raph's place first. When she arrives, Raph hugs her before she sees him and she laughs uncontrollably, tension she wasn't conscious of fleeing her body. 

She eventually texts Byleth asking if she's gonna come in. While she waits for an answer, Raph elaborates on what's going on with finality. Grampa Kirsten probably has a year or two left of running the family inn before he turns it over to Raph, so he's been thinking about that. Leonie wonders if the ranch will be turned over to Byleth if Jeralt dies. She wonders why her mind is so casual about it. 

It's when Raph mentions Annette- it's hers as and Maya's two year in three days- that she wonders to herself if he's trying to make her feel okay with living away for the time being. 

Her phone buzzes in her lap. It's a text from Byleth that simply reads  _ No, but thank you. _

Leonie knows that it's time. 

Raph is a good sport about it. His tone deflates as they talk but he keeps smiling like it's not a big deal. As if he's never experienced the terror of losing someone close to him or the absence of such with just the right friend. One who sees your heart through the system that rules you and the anger that you paint yourself with. 

They pack together for a half-hour and put their things in a few boxes in the bed of Byleth's truck. She's taken off the lid and stands outside the truck, waving. When she doesn't reply to Raph's bravado-laced small talk, he whispers to Leo "is it just a not speaking day?" Leo nods and claps him on the back. 

It's a few blankets, a week's change of clothes, her mini-laptop in case she wants to write, and some food items to help with meals.

On her final trip, Leo sees the charm on her dresser. She hadn't thought of it in a while and seeing it constricts her airways. Still, she puts it in her pocket quickly because she'd rather suffocate later than now. 

Leonie doesn't check to see if she has everything she needs in case she needs an excuse to go back. Byleth sees the anxiety riddling her and squeezes her hand for a moment. It feels natural like this was always how it was meant to go. Maybe that's why Raph didn't question it when Leonie dropped that she was staying in a secluded cabin with Byleth. 

After the last trip, Raph hugs her goodbye and says "you know what, Lee? I'm proud of you. You're really making sure you belong somewhere." 

Leo laughs and lightly shoves him for being such a dork. A minute after they drive away she starts crying and Byleth pulls over to hug her. Maybe she doesn't get why, but Leo rationalizes that Byleth just doesn't want to see her cry. There's no other answer she can think of that isn't embarrassingly sweet.

They both know that Jeralt is next. Byleth already has been anxious beyond words, but Leonie finds her frown sad enough to swear to herself that she'll be there for her first and foremost. 

They pull into the hospital and are told at the front desk that Jeralt is unresponsive. Leonie tries to process everything they say about cirrhosis of the liver but she warns them that she might need it repeated down the line. Especially because Byleth isn't listening and just has her hands folded together, tight enough to break her own fingers.

Eventually, Leonie tells them that if they want to talk any more, just to take her into a room and tell her and she'll relate it to Byleth at an opportune time. 

So they do. And she leaves the room with her head spinning and her stomach hollow, but she wipes the last of the vomit off of her mouth and sees Byleth waiting for her by the wall.

Jeralt isn't conscious so Byleth doesn't say anything; just looks at his body and the tubes within it hooking him like a static marionette. Leo isn't used to the expressions that line her face, but they nearly make her cry again.

Byleth kisses her father on the brow and leaves. Leo says she'll be right out and Byleth nods in the distance. 

She tries to get used to the sight of him. His head is shaven of its half-mohawk and his skin is thin and yellow. He looks defeated and accepting, which makes Leo angrier than she expected.

"Listen…" 

To what?

She doesn't know what to say, so she says it.

"You mean a lot to me. You gave me a place I belonged when I was all alone in the world. You helped me become a better person. I don't even think you knew. But I'm mad at you. I'm mad that you didn't take this seriously. I'm mad that you're leaving your daughter like this. I'm mad that there's so much you didn't teach her." 

She could leave now, but it doesn't feel right. She's angry and hurt, but she'll never stop looking up to Jeralt, even if she should. 

"Please wake up soon," she whispers. "You can make things right."

She and Byleth hold hands in the center cupholder for the next part of the drive.


	9. i want to wake up with the rain falling on a tin roof

They get some groceries next. They don't have an insane amount of money but they're fortunate that Jeralt already paid off the mortgage and all they have to worry about is food, bills, and the business, which is still a  _ lot  _ but isn't insurmountable enough that they have to rely on rations and emergency ramen. Leo even rationalizes getting ingredients for dishes, figuring that surely Marianne wouldn't mind cheffing. 

Byleth watches the total on the register climb like it's about to attack. It hits three digits and Leonie tells Byleth that it's okay because they're gonna be there for a while. Leonie doesn't know how long, but at least until the food runs out. 

They return to see that all the cars in the parking lot are gone except for Leo's garbage coupe, Marianne's old Buick, and a third, more modern hybrid painted bright pink.

"Hilda's here," Leo laughs.

They drive to the cabin. Marianne is with the horses, waving as they pass. Sure enough, Hilda’s hard at work doing various things to the cabin. It looks more… decorated than it did before. More intentional. Hilda says her family is pretty loaded so she doesn’t mind. Sure enough, there are so many little appliances and cottage-looking decor in every room except Jeralt’s (thankfully she left that alone) that Leo just now realizes how empty it was before. In fact, Hilda seems to have bought more than she could have use for, but Leo keeps her annoyance at bay because at least Hilda was just being considerate.

Extravagantly considerate.

Marianne comes back in just as Hilda is telling Leo and Byleth how to use the portable Wi-Fi signal she bought. Byleth doesn't pay attention but Leo's all for a way to keep in touch with Raph and Maya without leaving her couch. Or  _ the  _ couch… but at this point, it's kind of hers. It's easy to understand and Leo gets it on her phone before Hilda finishes but Byleth seems intensely interested. 

"I see you've met Hilda," Marianne says with a gracious smile. 

Hilda stops her impromptu WiFi seminar to jump up and hug her. Marianne doesn't expect it but returns it with mute surprise. Byleth just nods with a short smile.

"You're really just friends?" Leonie asks. She swears she can see Marianne's soul leave her body. Hilda stammers a half-answer and says something about dinner before fleeing to the kitchen. Marianne shakes her head with a sweetly amused smile beneath her dark stormy eyes and says she'll go check on dinner too.

Leonie leans back on the couch. "What dorks." 

Byleth leans against her and Leonie sort of gets why they were so shy.

Byleth stays close all evening. 

Dinner hits and Leonie learns that Hilda, though not a gourmet chef, is more skilled than all of them combined. Besides, she can't remember the last time she had pheasant and eggs, even if Hilda couldn't remember the last time she made them. If there are flaws in the dish, none of them are qualified to sniff them out. Maybe Marianne could, but Hilda's the only person Marianne looks in the eyes so that's out.

After dinner, Marianne plays the piano again and Hilda sings. She sings songs about  _ sunrise, sunrise,  _ and songs about  _ the prettiest things,  _ then she sings  _ come away with me in the night  _ while dancing near Marianne, for Marianne, and by the time the flustered bluenette starts playing  _ I've got to see you again  _ Hilda is dancing  _ on  _ Marianne. When Hilda starts to acapella sing  _ what am I to you, tell me darling true,  _ Leonie is halfway between  _ is it even ok that we're seeing this  _ and  _ how goddamn dense  _ are  _ you, Marianne?  _

Byleth giggles into Leonie's shoulder. It's nice to hear her voice again. 

Marianne and Hilda have a barely hidden desire to make out in their eyes and Leonie feels bad for withholding a girl from getting hers so she stops playing twat-swatter long enough to say she's gonna look at Byleth's room. Byleth sees the impatient look in her eyes and follows her. 

The two get inside the room and shut the door before Leonie realizes that it looks like they left the room to fuck and slaps her forehead. She screams "You two dweebs better be kissing!" and hears Byleth sputter next to her.

"You're the worst!" Hilda screams back. 

"Thank you!" Marianne calls at the same time. 

Leonie shakes her head and places her hand on her knee. She notices that Byleth is looking around in relative complacency and slight confusion and follows her eyes. 

"It looks like someone lives here now," she offers.

Byleth's nod agrees. There's a small white bookshelf for her few books, an art piece of a deer hanging to the right of the window, and matching curtains and bedding. It's a little slapdash and generic but she can't blame Hilda for not knowing Byleth's style. Does she even have one?

"Sorry I wasn't speaking today," Byleth finally says. 

"No, I getcha. It was a big day. It's a big day and you need to rest." 

"You don't mind?" 

Leo sighs. "By, if I ever showed signs of minding, I'm really sorry, okay? Nothing about you is anything I ever want you to apologize for."

Byleth takes a deep breath. Clasps Leo's hand. Clears her throat. Then says with shaky laughter "I've cried so much lately." 

Leo holds her hand and guides Byleth to rest on her shoulder. "Those are growing pains, I bet." 

That's all Leonie wants, is to grow. 

When Hilda leaves both of the others run out to say goodnight. She demands that Marianne communicate with her and says she enjoyed the other two’s company. Byleth just beams and nods, but Leo doesn't think that look will leave her face all night.

About ten minutes after she leaves, the three all sit on the couch. It looks misplaced in the newly decorated room, tan and bulky with unidentifiable stains that Leo somehow knows the source of. It hurts to think of. Jeralt hasn't changed. She can't take away the good he's provided to her. That's why the bad hurts so much.

As if to distract herself, Leo tells Marianne that she doesn't have to stay here if she doesn't want to. Marianne knows, but she'd like to at least until this place gets up and running again. Byleth's grip on Leo's hand gets more forceful and it doesn't help the gaping dread in her stomach that asks  _ if this is the last chapter, what does the next look like? _

When the two retire to bed, Byleth thanks her. "I'm not used to being… like this." 

"Like what?" 

She shrugs, looking down. "This." 

Leo gets it. She's not much for nonverbal communion, but she hopes that the tenderness with which she inscribes circles into the palm of Byleth's hand communicates care and understanding more than simple words. They can lie. Leonie doesn't want to lie. 

It's enough for Byleth to burrow into the crook of Leo's arm. She's a little alarmed about how a woman she knew as a brick wall can come apart so easily, but they all have their days. 

"Can I tell you something?" 

"Sure, By." 

Byleth closes her eyes and seethes like the words hurt to say. "Dad… doesn't trust me to run this place with him gone. He doesn't think I can."

Leonie feels like she was punched in the gut. Now it's her turn to hold Byleth close enough to catch the pieces of her heart as they fall. All she can choke out is "He said that?"

Byleth shakes her head. "Think he thought that by not saying anything I wouldn't catch on. But he asked… stopped what I was doing to… help him. Said he was retiring soon. When I signed into this place he said I could probably sell it if something happened. He never gave me advice on how to run things. Just showed me how to help on  _ his  _ ranch." 

Leo sucks in a breath. Her lungs hurt like there's shrapnel in her chest. "I…" is all she can say. She doesn't know which of many emotions she feels most prominently, but they're all unclear and negative. 

"I'm sorry."

Leonie's lazy eyes fix on Byleth. "What for?" 

"He doesn't trust me, and if he did maybe he'd tell me. And we could keep it open. I'd know what to do, but he doesn't think I know what to do." 

Leo just hugs her and tries not to cry. That lasts about five seconds. She doesn't cry often either. Years of being brought up in the system and getting in with the wrong crowds hardened her to soft emotion. Hardened her to fear of consequences. Hardened her to the idea of loss and it mattering. Yet here she is, crying for the second time today after a lifetime of exchanging her tears for screams. The first was easy to decipher- she really does love Raph and Maya and even Annette. This… doesn't make much sense yet. It's a lot of things but the things that make her saddest she spent a long time trying to make herself immune to. And now she knows she didn't. 

She cares too much. 

She misses Jeralt and wishes he could come back and make it better but he can't so at least he could have trusted his amazing daughter. Because they're running it now and damn it, she's  _ scared.  _ She doesn't know what her life would be without Jeralt and now she's probably gonna find out.

She apologizes to Byleth. Byleth just tries to wipe her tears and Leo says she'll stop crying in a bit with a bitter laugh. Byleth says it's okay. It hurts a lot. She's never wanted to do this. 

"We're gonna make it," Leo promises. "You, me, and Marianne. Even if no one believes it, we will." 


	10. for you, i have so many words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a BIG chapter.

Leo isn't sure how their fates all tied together as they did. A punk foster kid with anger issues, a selectively mute autistic woman never trusted to be in charge of even a potted plant, and a depressed soft-spoken animal lover… now in charge of a business. 

There aren't many details to describe the following days. It takes some time for them to get on their feet. Byleth knows the property like the back of her hand. She's always been good at memorizing maps and even sketches up a surprisingly accurate one for their property.  _ Their  _ property. Leo isn't used to thinking of this place as hers at all. Technically it's Jeralt's, who gave Byleth rights to live here, but Jeralt's in the hospital comatose or barely conscious and Byleth decided to make this place  _ theirs. _

Jeralt hasn't managed great upkeep on most of the property, just a small patch he carved out for the business. The next few days consist of a lot of grass being cut from knee-height to ankle-height. Byleth stumbles upon a patch of wildflowers and Leo only learns when Jeralt's vase makes its way to the living room with new valerian inside.

"They were mom's favorites," Byleth explains to Leo. The stems are carefully cut, if still a bit haphazard. Leo admires them until she feels a strange sensation atop her ear. She looks to see Byleth sheepishly placing one behind her ear. She doesn't remove it for the rest of the day. 

They make some pretty coin selling off most of the flowers, and Marianne puts that towards the upkeep of the horses and stable area. It's easier for her to take them on rides with more open areas. Byleth makes sure to let her know "We couldn't do this without you." Marianne furiously blushes as she tries to refute this but Leo joins in on the chance to bully her with love, shouting that this is Marianne's ranch over and over from the kitchen as she works on a fish and bean stew. Marianne tells them to stop, and Byleth secretly worries she upset her, but Leo assures her that she appreciates it. 

Soon, the extension that Jeralt put off for years is fixed up. All three of them carve their names into a 2x4, hoping it's the one Byleth used to walk.

Byleth tells Leonie a lot of things in confidence. It happens every night as they share a bed together, a routine that Leo looks forward to. She listens to Byleth for the time being, seeing the woman behind the cage she locked herself in. 

Sometimes Byleth worries that their work will be for naught. Sometimes she's worried that Jeralt isn't gonna make it. Sometimes she's worried that she's not enough. Leo doesn't know for sure that things will turn out all right, but she believes it like the stubborn dyke punk that she's always been deep-down and expresses that to Byleth. 

She wonders if it means anything, but the repeated fresh valerian in the vase and behind her ear makes her feel confident in that. 

  
  


Leonie finds herself talking to Raphael and Maya more than she did when she lived with them. She likes to shoot the shit with Raph about whatever they're doing separately. They live similarly repetitive lives but Leo has squeezed in enough details about her days, especially with Byleth and Marianne, that Raph shows clear interest to hear about her days.

Maya is the unusual case because… well, they don't talk one on one as much. Leo does love Maya but it's largely from a distance. They've always assumed the other to be a different type of person, but Leo misses whatever type of person Maya is and messages her every now and again.

There's a little kinship between them. They're both open lesbians and both pretty blunt. Leo gets her foot in the door that way. She doesn't have the level of romantic experience and commitment that Maya has had but Maya has said before she's never met a lesbian who's quiet about a crush and Leonie's not gonna be the first. 

She doesn't start by outright saying "Hi, Maya, just so you know the quiet girl you thought I hated that took me fishing? I uh am super fucking attracted to her now!" because if she were to lay it out that way, she'd have to face how weird it is. So she starts by taking a photo of the latest batch of valerians that, as she explains, Byleth gave her. She even (poorly) selfies the one in her hair.

Maya responds  _ no offense but that's really fucking gay :x  _

She doesn't tell Byleth why she's doubled over cackling. 

She finds herself updating Maya on things that she and Byleth are working towards. 

When they get in a shipment of plywood she asks  _ what should we build with this?? _

_ The ranch could use a new roller coaster. make it sturdy!  _

They work on a pathway to the fishing pond out of gravel and Leonie takes a picture of it to send to Maya. Her response is  _ how in the fuck did you get there before _

_ Maya u don't wanna know. _

_ You're right I dont  _

It's amazing how she always has a barb or joke to share towards anything they do. It gets to the point where Leonie starts relaying the funnies to Byleth. Though the first time she does Byleth says that making a golem from the plywood would be a waste unless it was an art project, she eventually catches on that they're jokes and smiles tenderly when hearing them.

Conceding that Maya basically knows Byleth by now, Leo takes a selfie with the two of them. Leonie grins and Byleth looks intensely at the camera. Leo decides that's perfectly fitting and sends it.

_ Tall. Green hair. Muscular. Thick. She's like a tree.  _

Leo giggles.  _ A tree?? Lmfao  _

_ Yep. A tree.  _

Then, in the next message, she adds  _ i betcha wanna climb her like one  _

Leonie turns bright red.  _ Oh my god shut uppppp  _

Byleth looks over her shoulder. "What did she say?"

Leo presses a button to lock the screen. "Nothing!”

Byleth laughs like she knows it’s not  _ nothing,  _ but respects her space. 

When Raph invites her over it's with the silent expectation that Byleth and Marianne come as well. It doesn't take any convincing to get Byleth to come with (though did she  _ really  _ have to say "wherever you go, I will go"? Leonie's heart can't take such religious loyalty.) Marianne is nervous at first but once Leo gets expressed okay from Raphael she decides to come along too.

On the way over, they all ride in Byleth's truck. Byleth jokes "I might actually speak." 

Leo giggles before responding "don't do anything you don't want." 

"And not talk to this kid?" 

Marianne smiles, arm outside of the rolled-down window. The sun is at a summer peak and it illuminates Leonie with a singular, dedicated focus she surprisingly likes. 

Raphael is there with a friend. He introduces himself as Ignatz and says something about apologizing for intruding but he and Raph lost track of time chatting. Raph shakes his head and says "Nah, Iggy, you're family here. Just like Leo and her girl squad, right?" 

Leo blushes a bit while waving. Byleth says "I thought you called us the dyke squad." 

Leo holds her head in her hands, furiously red. Marianne speaks for her. "I think for reasons of respect, it's good that he didn't call us that." 

Ignatz is timid, nervous, but endlessly kind. Marianne finds a new friend immediately, matching his energy level or lack thereof. Maya and Annette leave her room, Raph explaining that over the last week Annette's more or less lived with them. Annette says "It's good practice!" and Maya looks like she's about to meet the goddess. Quickly looking for a subject change, she looks at Byleth and says "Oh, hey, it's The Tree." 

"I've been here a while." 

Leo swerves. "You knew who she was talking about?" 

Byleth points to herself. "Tall. Green hair. Thick. Shady. I'm gonna guess that's me." 

Leonie thinks of what Maya said afterward and desperately hopes, for the sake of her dignity, that the two don't talk alone. 

Raph's eyes light up when he talks about how he and Ignatz recently reunited after high school. “Our folks died, so our paths in life kind of changed. Iggy’s did too, in that he really found himself and his calling.”

“What calling?” Byleth asks, ever the inquisitive one.

“Oh,” Ignatz responds, scratching his neck. “Uh, I’m an artist.”

Leonie swears that Marianne gets lens flare eyes upon hearing that.

No longer quiet and demure, Marianne wastes no time in exploring that angle and seeing his past work. Since Iggy doesn't carry a portfolio, he digs stuff up on his phone. Marianne's eyes light up when she sees it- a mural for a historic community reflecting the distant past amid a modern setting. 

"Iggy's always had an artistic vision," Raph says, a little too eager to place his hand on his smaller's friend's shoulders. "His parents tried to get him to take a STEM field. And waste  _ this  _ talent?" 

Ignatz blushes. "Oh, Raphael. There's no way I'm that good, you know?" 

Marianne's eyes seem to differ. She's got a look of inspiration in her eyes so fierce that no one dares rebuff her. "I can't promise anything, Ignatz, but I'd like to have your business card if that's okay." 

Ignatz's jaw drops. "My what?"

Raphael cackles. "Dude, you don't even have a business card yet and you've got business!" He hugs his friend from the side, and Ignatz blushes. "I knew you were talented!" 

Ignatz blushes deeper, somehow; he didn't have many shades to go. "I can't believe it." 

Annette coos. "You two are so cute! I can't stand it, Maya-May, can you?" 

"It's so gay.  _ So  _ gay." 

"Right?!" Annette squees and Maya, Raph, and Leo all laugh. Meanwhile, Ignatz looks more flustered than ever. 

"I think I'm going to burst," he bemoans. But he doesn't let go of Raph. 

Leo thinks it's funny how oblivious to being obvious the two guys are until she looks down and realizes that Byleth is holding her close, fingers on her knee, and she isn't gonna tell her to ease up. The way she holds Leo feels frighteningly secure, and the touch on her knee feels like… well, magic. She's a little embarrassed, but not enough to hide how much she likes it.

Or hide how soft she is.

"What are you thinking about?" 

Leo closes her eyes. They’re back home-  _ back home,  _ she repeats to herself- in each other’s arms. She feels a touch on the side of her face, thumb rubbing on her cheek. It's so nice… Leonie trusts it. She trusts Byleth. She feels it's well-earned. 

It's herself that she struggles to trust.

She puts a hand on the one Byleth has on her face. Byleth tries to accommodate by removing it, but Leo presses it back against her face, coaxing each finger back to where it was. She beams in a way that feels vulnerable, but being vulnerable around Byleth, who's seen her tears, heard her apologies, and been on her side as they started this all… that's not so bad.

"If… I figure it out, By, I'll tell you. I promise. I just need time, you know?" 

Byleth nods with a smile then kisses her forehead. Leonie's going to immolate from the affection. No one's ever been so  _ soft  _ with her, even those she's been intimate with.

Maybe her crush isn't one-sided.


	11. every time I think about you and wonder if you are awake

It's about two weeks in that the hospital calls their landline and informs them that Jeralt is showing signs of waking, warning that they'll need to talk about the damage to his liver and other such things. They'll be informed of when Jeralt is awake and conducive to see visitors. 

Leo could run laps out of excitement to this news. Byleth isn't the same. Instead, her first words are "I feel bad that we haven't visited him." 

In fact, the whole thing makes her nervous and Leo knows it'll come up in their late-night talks. If it doesn't naturally, she'll make it happen. Sure, she has a habit of growing weak when meeting Byleth's wide soulful eyes that seem to know the words that Leo wants to say, but she's still the same stubborn dyke that Byleth met. 

"How do you think he'll react?" 

Byleth opens her mouth and closes it again. She used to ask useless questions she knew the answer to in order to pad for time, but as they spend more time together, she eventually drops the habit.

"Don't think he'll expect it," Byleth admits. "Won't think I can do it."

Leo sighs. It's easy to be angry at Jeralt and pretend her feelings aren't complex and messy. "Then when we can we'll show him this place and what we've already done. How we're taking care of the horses. Making money. Fixing it up." 

Byleth nods. "Might be awhile."

Leo nods in agreement. "Yeah, not today." 

"Don't want to alarm him." 

Leo kind of wants to, but that might not be the safest option. She just doesn't… feel good. She often doesn't, but here, she feels like she's reverting. 

She suspects people often. It's not an attractive quality. She suspected Marianne hated her at first because she was so skittish. She suspected that Maya thought she was a bitch because she was always so blunt about the bitchy things she did. She even suspected Raph was being dishonest about the roommate deal and kept expecting a rent upcharge or an incomplete room. It's just who she is. People who care about her have ulterior motives. 

Jeralt hit her suspicions hard at first. He offered too much for Leonie to suspect. A job she wasn't good at based on little, one where he had to chastise but never judge her on her anger and cluelessness and confusion. One where instead of giving up on her he instructed and guided her on how to do things. She never expected all of this to sprout from her social-worker-of-the-day recommending Jeralt's unnamed ranch for therapy riding, and when she got it she didn't think it was real. When she accepted it, she trusted him with all of her.

That wasn't a good idea.

She isn't sure if that's a good thing, that she knows he did things wrong. It's more honest, but it makes her feel wrong for trusting people. But as she looks across at the woman lying next to her, sincere face and honest eyes, she can't think of a moment where she ever distrusted Byleth.

It's a few days later during the evening time that they get the call. They make arrangements to be there tomorrow because they need tonight to think. Or to blankly fear. It's good that he's awake, both agree. Often. That's really all they can say. 

At least, until Byleth says "I might need you to speak for me." 

"Cause you might get overwhelmed?" 

Byleth nods, smiling shyly. It's the first time she has since the call. 

"Definitely," Leo says. "Just so long as somehow you can stop me if I get too angry." 

Byleth takes her hand. "So if I just do this?" She traces a quick circle into the palm. 

"That'll do." 

The two sit on the couch together. They gravitate toward each other until she's leaning on Byleth's shoulder. "Maybe we should have gone tonight," Byleth admits. "While we know he's awake." 

"Maybe," Leo admits. "But we need time to get prepared." 

"Should have been prepared by now." 

Leo winces because she can't hide that she's at fault. "I know I should have. I don't really have an excuse." 

"Dad's important to you. I understand."

Leo leans up to meet Byleth's eyes. "I mean, yeah, but… that's your father, Byleth. You've known him all your life and… things weren't fulfilled. And…" Jesus Christ, she isn't even sure why she's hurting now. 

"You never had a father," Byleth realizes. "Dad's the closest you got." 

Leo meekly ekes out a  _ yeah. _

"He was good to me. Just did things wrong too. Guess even good parents do." 

Leonie doesn't know from personal experience, but Byleth isn't a liar so maybe there's merit to it. 

They wake up to the news that it was a false alarm. I

It would be an understatement to say that it had some effects on them. 

Leonie forgot how cold she could be until she tried to cope all over a tragedy with what she, for a few awful barely cognizant minutes, thought was harsh truth until she came down and realized that, just like every other scar on her heart, she had no control over the situation and just starts crying alone. She doesn't know if Jeralt will live or die even if she told Byleth  _ just face it and live with it because the universe doesn't give us nice things.  _ And she can't tell if Byleth is gonna abandon her or not even if she responded  _ Just need space, just need space, I need space!  _

Fuck, it'd be easier for Jeralt to die and Byleth to shitcan her like she deserves because at least she'd know. 

As if to confess her sins, she brings up Maya on her messaging app. She doesn't even say hello before she apologizes for how she acted to Byleth, explained that she knew it made her shitty, explained the whole situation, and how she feels at this moment.

(Shitty. Very shitty and low.)

_ What can I do to fix this _

_ I don't want Byleth to hate me. just feel like a consistint screwup  _

Then she remembers to add  _ Please don't tell Annette. _

Then she looks at the clock. It's barely past eight. Leonie swears again and wonders, where the best spot on the property to bury herself alive, would be.

Leo starts to type an apology for the time until Maya cuts her off.

_ chill out _

Leo breathes deeply. Maya would get her ass in trouble if she tried that with anyone else (if Annette's window-shattering  _ don't tell me to calm down _ s told any stories). But with Leo, it's okay. Especially when she needs a chill pill.

_ i can't believe you're coming to me for relationship advice. im babey!!  _

Leonie has an honest answer she'd never let out unless she was vulnerable.  _ your the smartest person I know _

_ You need to meet more people lee. But thank you  _

_ seriously tho. Chill out. No one's gonna skin you alive for getting into an argument with someone you care about and love (you do. Don't deny it.) over something like THAT. like girl. Annette and I have gotten into fights over RENT and that play's older than ME  _ (Leo's confused until pop culture osmosis kicks in.)  _ It's something that can easily be fixed if you're a person and you're a good person. _

_ Am I tho? Clearly im still really rough. Im always gonna be that way. Its just how I am  _

Leonie sighs, head in her hands. She's about to cry again but she just got herself to dry up, goddamn it. 

_ Leo that's not true.  _

_ I just have to say that now  _

Leonie wants to rebuff that but, damn, Maya can really strike fear in the hearts of gods when the typing signal comes up from her end without pause for a minute or two. So Leo doesn't dare interrupt. 

_ I used to think I was incapable of a lot. That id never be able to do anything outside of my pocket interests or get a girl to like weird old me or hell even get my older friend to ask me for advice on how to be a person. But those all happened. You're a good person with talents and chutzpah. I know it, Raph knows it, Nettie knows it, but the important bit? Byleth knows it.  _

_ So you got into a fight. Apologize, self-analyze, work it out. If By were to give up on you she wouldn't have taken space and if I were to give up on you I would leave you on read until I've had my coffee. Good luck you goddamn star. 🌟 _

Leonie's exhausted from reading that but she reads it another four times before realizing she should show a sign of life. _ I'll be thinking about what you said. Thank you _ . She reads it a couple more times. It's powerful, exhausting, and inarguable no matter how she'd try.

_ Don't sweat it lee. Also I think in the next week or two we're throwing a dinner party at our place. Obviously you're invited because duh. But I wanted you to prep because fucking everything is in the air.  _

Leonie blinks. She isn't sure if she needs to make something out of it or not. For now, she keeps her reading glasses on the nightstand.  _ Sounds good kid. Thanks for letting me know. I'll make it there.  _

_ Good. look forward to seeing you/meeting the Tree. _

Leonie laughs bitterly. Now she's gonna have to make up with Byleth just so she can meet Maya. 

And probably because… well, Maya was right. 

She decides that the best she can do is stay on the couch until Byleth returns. When she does, she looks like she was run through a blender, hair and skin a mess of bark and grass. Did she nap in the dirt for an hour? That's a genuine question. 

Byleth holds a finger up and Leo knows to wait. She watches as Byleth enters the room, changes her outfit, and tosses a towel in the direction of a dirty clothes hamper she forgot Hilda got them. Her hair's in a rough ponytail and, wow, that's a challenge, apologizing to someone when all you wanna do is ogle them. 

Leonie is awful. 

Byleth sits next to her and looks over at her. "That was… not good," she says simply.

"Yeah. Yeah." Leonie sinks her head into her hands. 

"You… told me everything, right?" 

Leonie looks up slightly. "How do you mean?" 

"I mean like." Byleth shrugs. "I know you were fond of Jeralt. I just…" She doesn't continue. In fact, she gets sort of flustered, waving her hand in front of her eyes. "Sorry. I'm doing bad." 

"Yeah, but like… that's your dad. I get it." 

Byleth hums. "You like Jeralt too, right?" 

"Of course," Leo answers without thinking. After thinking it through she surmises that she'd still sound the same. 

Byleth nods slowly. "It's just… I don't… get you sometimes. I'm sorry." 

Leonie is more hurt than she expected to be by something she understands. "Yeah. I'm a little messed up. I know." She sniffles- oh, fuck, is she gonna cry  _ now?  _ She's gonna drown herself in the pond, she's so embarrassed. "I try not to let it define me so much but, like, I grew up not having really anything but a garbage bag full of junk and resentment. If I had good things, I lost them. And…" 

She starts to sob. She wants Byleth to understand her so badly. Even if no one else were to, she wants Byleth to. "Jeralt putting up with me, letting me change, taking me seriously, like… it doesn't sound like much but it was more than I ever had. And losing it…" 

Byleth takes her hand and traces circles in her palm.  _ Calm down,  _ Leonie thinks.  _ That means calm down, Leonie.  _ But she can't. She can't stand the idea of being unheard. "I can, like… I can't stay where I don't know that easily, Byleth. And I just… anticipate the worst because I don't want to be surprised. I want to be prepared. But I'll never be. And you won't be, and that's okay, and I'm sorry for trying to force you to be, but please,  _ please  _ try to understand where I'm coming from. I can't  _ stand  _ this idea where you think I'm an alien to you. I can't keep my feelings inside like I used to, I just can't." 

She's talked up a tornado and her heavy breaths and barely stifled sobs are the tremors of wind. She feels like she's on her knees begging the goddess she's never believed in for salvation, for mercy, for understanding. The days where she and Byleth farm the day away and sleep in each others' arms at night is a trance she's gotten lost in even as the fields around them burned, a slow dance amid flames. And  _ fuck, shitting fuck, it hurts to wake up. _

Byleth holds her. It makes Leonie feel like a child, but she doesn't feel very mature right now. Byleth takes her hand in her own and just grasps it rather than tracing circles in her palm. She lets Leonie cry and cries a little herself and that reinforces that Byleth and Leonie are all each other have, and she's gotta make that enough for both of them.

After the tears subside and Leonie nestles into her neck, Byleth whispers "I'm scared too. Dad was… all I had growing up. No friends. No other family. When I left… I made no friends. I went through the motions. You are… the first friend I made. Marianne too. And you… are special. And it's okay that you're scared and unhappy because I am too." 

Leonie grasps Byleth close to her. She's moved to the point where she doesn't know a world without Byleth's words. Without Byleth. And she wouldn't mind if she kept forgetting. 

"I don't know what we're gonna do," she admits.

"Our best, I guess." 

Leonie decides that's enough.

She still can't believe that, when she goes to bed that night, that Byleth still has her arms out to hold her. All Leo can do in return is hold her back.


	12. help me fall asleep a little better at night

It’s hard to know what to do at first but they decide that they’ll visit him anyways. Leo’s a little glad for that because he would always be on her conscience, a nagging fear in the back of her head, that they’d be ignoring him. When she confesses this to Maya over text, the response she gets is  _ orrrrrrrr you 2 are starting ur fully INDEPENDENT life anyways? ijs  _ and Leonie looks forward to the day where she believes that. Leo’s been fully independent before and it is not nearly as fun as it sounds. It reassures her to have Byleth at her side. 

The check-in process isn’t as painstaking this time as it was last time and the update from hospital staff breeds nothing new, but Byleth can’t look the doctor in the eye. Leonie traces circles in her hand but Byleth doesn’t look her in the eye either. Still, Leo thinks that the least she could do is let Byleth know she has a friend nearby. 

Jeralt is still a depressing sight. It doesn’t look like Jeralt aside from just enough familiar details to make him unmistakably look like Jeralt. The wrinkles on the side of his face, the depleting muscle tone in his arms, the scars near his eye that she never knew the source of because she never asked, the way he just looks gruff and coarse and now, very very ill. 

It’s frightening, but she stays to hold Byleth’s hand. Neither of them says anything after Byleth says a meek hello. They just look him over and try to imagine a future where he’s back on his feet, the man they once knew. 

Leo can’t imagine that at all. 

She doesn’t dream that night and wakes up with a sharp gasp, jolting up and taking Byleth’s arm with her. She swears under her breath and prepares to apologize, but Byleth’s still asleep, arm slumping down Leonie’s side. She just shakes her head and lies back down, taking in that all of this is a part of her life and not the nothingness she dreamed of just before. 

It is always relieving, after a bad dream, to wake up and realize that your life is like you left it, but it is more so when you wake up after not having dreamed at all. 

More days go by. Marianne makes her return, to the glee of both Leonie and Byleth. Marianne blushes, flustered at the compliments that Byleth and Leonie give her, but to know Marianne is to love her, Leonie decides. Besides, neither of them has reached full emotional maturity and Marianne is at least further along with the race than they are. 

The three draw up a game plan for the future, brainstorming over cucumber sandwiches in the stable. Leonie's glad to see Cord as she is every day. Cord seems to sense Leonie's subconscious distress as she's cooperative and even nuzzles her on occasion. Leonie loves that damn horse, just now getting exactly why they function so well at therapy.

On that subject, they consider opening the ranch up again. Byleth seems uneasy because both her and Leonie aren't exactly good for therapy on their own. She reveals that only Jeralt had a therapy license thing, in those words exactly. "I'm not sure what it is. Is how much I don't have one." 

Marianne smiles so luminously that Leonie knows it's not normal. She's about to ask her who she is and what she did with Marianne when Byleth interjects "You should speak, Marianne." 

"I take night classes," Marianne explains.

"We, uh, love a responsible queen," Leonie mumbles sincerely and sincerely confused. "But what does that have to do with anything?" 

"They're in psychiatry and mental health," Marianne informs. "Roughly. It's complicated but… I started off in college with it. It's what got me referred to here. It was an internship but… Jeralt paid me anyways. It will… take me a while to get to a place where I can operate this property legally as a therapeutic ranch, but… I will again." 

Leonie smiles. "That's amazing, Marianne. It's more than I hoped for." 

Marianne just beams as she should. It doesn't solve this interim and, as much as she didn't think it, she's gonna miss the people who were there for therapy before. Still, it can happen again. It's paused, not over.

She exchanges a look with Byleth. Byleth smiles in relief. "Guess it's never really over, huh?" 

She nods. It really isn't. It isn't, and that's amazing. 

As the three of them work at picking more wildflowers to sell, Byleth gives the lowdown on the property. It's got some open fields she's trimmed down with Jeralt's riding lawnmower, the fishing pond, a litany of trails to explore, the fields of untamed flowers, and of course the stables and horse riding areas. The list makes Leonie smile like a fool and hide her blush from Byleth when she looks at Leonie. 

Marianne, of all people, doesn't tolerate that different sort of tension. "Leonie, you should say whatever it is you want to say." 

"It's nothing." 

A giggle. "It's probably not. Besides, after how blunt you were with Hilda and me, well…" She giggles again like sweet bell chimes. "I'm not letting you off the hook so easily." 

Byleth stops picking and looks at Leonie. Oh, Leo's definitely blushing now. Leonie stammers a bit before deciding she owes it to Marianne and her cute luminous giggle. "I, uh… I was just thinking about how many great memories I've already had here. You know. Like, when Byleth mentioned the fishing and the looking at the wildflowers, like…" She scratches behind her neck. "I was just thinking of how much I love it here. And how much of, like, my heart is here." 

Marianne smiles softly. The world feels brave and new with Marianne often smiling and giggling, Leonie blushing and crying more than her whole life before, and Byleth being the emotional anchor. It's Byleth that says "that's lovely. I like that." But the way she says it contemplates something more.

That night finds them in each other's arms once more. One of these days they're gonna be so tangled that no one will know where one ends and the other begins. Byleth breathes steadily into Leonie's ear and Leonie tries to act like her heart doesn't skip a beat against Byleth. 

"It's nice that you said that today."

Leonie pretends not to know. "Oh? Well… good, I guess." 

"Very good," Byleth says. "Glad it worked out like this. Thought we'd… all say goodbye sometime after. The way we went… I thought I'd be here alone, but I'm not." 

"You're not," Leo assures her. If she has anything to say about it, Byleth won't ever be alone. 

The next few days make an empire out of their wheat fields. Byleth is a woman on a mission she doesn't know enough about to say aloud. She makes the trails clearer and better-cut, starts to fence off a patch for the horses, and paints on pieces of wood she carves into arrow shapes. Leonie helps the fruits of her labor bloom, assisting her the entire time. After all, it's never a bad thing to have wide-open spaces and marked paths, even if she isn't sure why.

Byleth tells her one night over another fish stew that Marianne throws together that Jeralt was able to pay this place off because of a low cost. "It was considered bad. No one wanted it. So it was cheap." 

"Is that why you're putting so much work into this?" 

"Kinda." Byleth leaves it there.

The fence is finished first. Marianne makes sure of it because she wants the horses to associate and have a wide-open space just for them. Leo underestimates how proud she would feel about it until it's finished and they test it. Not only does it work like a charm, but it’s also such a wonderful feeling to see Dorte, Cord, and all the other horses become one group in their field. She shrieks in excitement, grabbing Marianne's shoulder as she smiles with a hint of earned cockiness. 

Leonie can see it now. She can see it become better. She can see it become theirs.

Marianne stays the night on the couch and Leonie feels a little guilty. She looks at Byleth and asks if it feels wrong to her too. Byleth looks away and nods, embarrassed. 

"I just wish the solution isn't so painful." 

Leonie sighs. She thinks about it and knows it will be. She just can't imagine it staying forever, especially when they can convert it to a room for the woman who's more or less managed the new age of the unnamed ranch. 

They need to start to move on. 

Somehow.


	13. this will destroy you

Their next day alone is probably the peak before the plateau. She and Byleth haven't yet done this, even though they know they should and have fixed up the house around it. Factually, it makes sense that they need to. Not only are there lots of things to gather, the fact that they haven't addressed it at all means the rest of the house is getting patched up and fixed and it's not.

Still, when she looks at Byleth she doesn't want to say it- for either of them. Byleth catches her shameful eyes and sighs. She knows.

"It's gotta happen," she admits shallowly, voice hollow. 

"Yeah." 

The two alternate sips of coffee.

"That's not gonna make it easy though."

Byleyh sighs. "Nope." 

Leo squeezes her hand. It's a lot easier than saying "I'm hurt, but I'm with you." No wonder Byleth prefers it. 

By the time they finish their coffee, it’s cold. 

There's not much left in the room. An empty bed with alcohol stains, the guitar, the few clothes Byleth didn't throw out, and the full bookshelf. For a second, the sight winds Leo because someone used to live here and now they will never live here again. Still, they keep breathing though it feels more like hyperventilation. 

Byleth brought in a garbage bag. She starts to throw the ruined bedding inside. Leonie wants to ask if she can help with that but her tongue is tied. She waits for the bedding to disappear before she helps Byleth carry the mattress to the truck bed. It smells nasty enough for them to throw the broken frame in and beeline for the dumpster at the front, wordless and musicless. 

After they finish, they set to start the drive back. Byleth asks if Leonie could turn on some music. So she does. She almost turns it off out of embarrassment when  _ Somewhere Over The Rainbow  _ plays- the ukulele version by a guy who's name she'd feel insulting trying to pronounce. But she hears something she'd never have guessed- Byleth singing along. 

Leo is too shocked and touched to try and rationalize what her voice sounds like. Maybe it's the sound of becoming a total hopeless romantic. Maybe Byleth's performing a spell. Not like she'd have to. 

"You have a nice voice," is all Leo says. 

"Wow." 

With the bed gone, the room is surprisingly empty. Leonie opens the closet to see a handful of flannel and jackets left hanging and some pants folded on the floor below. Byleth already threw out all the clothes that were unsalvageable. Leonie supposes that, on one hand, they could donate the clothes. Yet, on the other hand… She puts one leather jacket on. It's probably meant to be a half-jacket but with their height difference, it fits rather snugly on her. She also sees that one flannel is considerably shorter than the rest. 

Byleth pops up over her shoulder, prompting a surprised  _ bah!  _ Undeterred, she says "used to be mine. Left it when I moved out." She puts her hand through what looked like a pocket until her hand sticks out the other side. Leonie  _ ohh _ s.

Then it hits her with a giant  _ fucking duh, dipshit.  _ "So it's just… a memento." 

Byleth nods. She struggles to breathe but keeps her expression neutral. "He didn't throw it out. I would have. But I can't now." 

Leonie closes her eyes. There's just enough of a crack in Byleth's voice to make Leonie feel crushed on her behalf, never mind the sorrow she herself was feeling. Leonie takes it in her hands to look closer at it. Even with the big tear aside it's pretty holey, but it's almost comforting in its red and white plaid texture. Enough so that, absently, Leonie tries it on. The hole in the chest is a strange badge of honor.

Byleth looks at her. She tries to look away, refocus on what she's doing, but she can't keep her faded grassy eyes away from Leonie. Leonie makes eye contact with her, pleased to have stolen her attention.

"I guess it looks good on me?" Leonie half-jokes. 

Byleth just nods, her breath gone. Still, she says "can you take it off for me?"

Leo nods. She knows it's hard. She knows things will be a certain way in the next while that they haven't been before and probably won't be after. So she takes it off, letting the real Leonie smile at her. 

Byleth stares a little longer. There's a look in her eyes that seems to realize something obvious. 

The guitar, case and all, goes in Byleth's room without a second thought. Leonie doesn't blame her; that's a nice guitar. All that's left is the full bookshelf. None of the books fascinate her, but Byleth keeps a ton of guides and almanacs. Leo jokes about just moving the bookshelf into her room. Byleth nods at this idea and… looks like they got a new bookshelf. 

Still, they remove the books one by one. A few are damaged and Leo doesn't have the stomach to give them autopsies. It never gets easier to face. In fact, knowing that this was what happened to Jeralt only makes this harder. Still, they make it through them all and Leonie only  _ somewhat  _ wishes she were gone from this world for a short time, so that's good. She distracts herself by helping Byleth carry the bookshelf over to her room. It's easily done, but Leonie feels weak. One look into the hollow sadness in Byleth's eyes, though, changes her. It's one that says  _ it's okay, it's what I expected  _ even though expecting it doesn't make anything okay and, more than anyone, Jeralt's daughter should know that.

"I'll check to see if anything else is there." 

Leo is put off by how empty the room is. It's all wood floors and paneling that, without furniture, look like the stable just after they rebuilt it. She doesn't even remember if Byleth's room looked like that before Hilda redecorated, but now that the house has a vague style to it, the more this looks like a self-inflicted cage. 

She doesn't want to get into the psyche of someone who lived in a room like this.

Her foot slides just a bit as she goes to walk out. She's worried about what she could have stepped in on  _ many  _ levels, but as she runs her shoe over the spot again, she sees the floorboard move, exposing a small hole filled by a book.

"What the fuck?" 

She looks around, closes her eyes, and folds her hands in a way to pray that she doesn't get her hand cut off reaching for it. Luckily, she doesn't. 

It looks like a small notepad. A very old one, too. Leonie's not an idiot; she knows that it has to contain important writing in it. Indeed, she peeks at the first page.

_ Day 25 of the Horsebow Moon, 1994 _

_ It's cloudy and gray. I don't know how I'm going to do this alone. _


	14. wish I knew what you were looking for, might have known what you would find

The notepad sits slammed on the coffee table, and Leonie stares at it. She doesn't know what to do with it. What she'd ever do with it without Byleth. If Byleth wanted to throw it away, she would. She'd hate it, but she would. They can't undermine each other if Leonie actually wants to make something out of this. She just… can't imagine what's in there. All of her curiosity, all of her fears, all of his thoughts… true, honest, on her.

She hears guitar playing. Soft but clear strings. She doesn't have the first clue of how to play guitar but goddess, it sounds good. She props herself up and softly walks into Byleth's room. She's sitting on the bed, strumming the same five notes over and over. It sounds like a composed song she's covering but it's just those five notes. Five familiar notes. It sounds like something she's heard in the car with Byleth. Maybe when she woke up there. Or it could just remind her of Byleth. 

"Keep going, By," Leo encourages her. Keep going she does; eventually, she plays a backdrop to the five chords. She taps her feet to it but the rhythm is off. Byleth isn't great at multitasking, so Leonie taps her feet instead, hand on Byleth's knee. "Keep playing," she insists. And keep playing she does. 

Leonie mentions the journal to Byleth. She can see the way her heart drops. The way her eyes, barely able to meet Leo's face in the best of times, bore holes into the floor like the one she found the journal in. 

They move to the living room couch, Byleth holding onto Leonie's hand like the one solid branch hanging on a cliff. She looks at it like she's challenging it to a fight. "It's okay," Leo whispers. "You can decide to read it or not. It's just there. You don't have to give it the power to hurt you." 

"It already is."

After too long being still, she picks it up. She reads the entrants aloud at first, then can't anymore. She lets Leonie read over her shoulder, tapping whenever she's done so Byleth can flip. They have so many unspoken nonverbal rituals between them, silent ceremonials, that they don't even seem like an exception to help Byleth anymore.

Leonie needs them too.

Jeralt doesn't journal much. When he does, he's not too explicit. Some of the stuff hurts Byleth. Some of it heals her. Leonie's happy that Jeralt mentioned hiring her and Marianne. On some day seven years ago, he wrote  _ Caught the new girl hitting the horse. She needs to learn patience. But the way she looks at me makes me think she never thought she needed it. So I'll be patient with her and maybe she'll get it. She's not a bad kid.  _

Leonie beams until she realizes that it's significantly kinder than he was about his own kid. He was never deliberately cruel. He loved her in his own way. But she gets the sort of hopeless feeling Byleth often seems to have. Why she thinks her father never had hope for her to turn out as radiantly as she did. But she has.

Byleth leans her head on Leo's shoulder. "That's nice," she whispers. 

"You're nice," Leo responds because she can't say that her father should have had faith in her. That's obvious and it doesn't cover the faith Leo has in her. How much Leo cares for her. She doesn't want Byleth to ever think that she isn't worthy of the way Leonie feels about her. How Leo wants to wake up every morning being held by her, knowing she's there and the day will be good after all. That life will. That she's better than she ever expected she'd turn out and so much has to do with Byleth being better than she or Jeralt expected.

_ Day 9 of the Garland Moon 2014 _

_ Byleth knows that Leonie works here and wants to meet her. She says it's because she's the same age. That's a bad idea. Byleth isn't a normal kid and Leo likes to pretend she doesn't have a heart. She'll say something that shatters Byleth and I can't let that happen. She starts college soon as it is. Think they'll be better adjusted there. Maybe she can find some kids who are like her. Do a better job at integrating her than I did. _

Leonie balls her fists, forgetting that the notepad is in one. Byleth tries to rub a circle in her palm but can't get in, so instead she says "Please don't do this." 

Leonie tries to loosen up even though all that she's thinking is what she says aloud. " _ Six years. Six fucking years he- good fucking Sothis, Byleth. Is this what it was like?"  _

Byleth looks at her with soulful eyes. She just says "never made friends at college. Never learned here. Too many people to stay away from. My fault."

Leonie shakes her head. "That's not true. You made mistakes and so did I, but he was  _ wrong _ . You're my best friend. And I'm closer to you than anyone."  _ Hell, I'd like to be closer.  _ Fixing pleading eyes on the floor: "Aren't we?"

Byleth just wraps an arm around Leo and pulls her to her side. "Please," she says, gesturing to the notepad. She squeezes Leo's calf and Leo figures that Byleth would do anything to not speak right now.

"Okay," she says. "Okay." 

Byleth hugs her sideways, lazing her chin on Leo's head.  _ Better, but not close enough. _

Jeralt writes more the closer he gets.

_ Day 12 of the Harpstring Moon, 2020 _

_ Today Byleth went fishing again with Leonie. It's become a thing between them right under my nose. She didn't tell me at first so I thought she was doing the odd things she usually does. I think she thought I wouldn't care. I gotta work on showing her otherwise.  _

_ Sitri and I used to fish. We grew up in a small town. It feels like we were betrothed without knowing it. And it's like that that I guessed Leo would be good to her. It used to be confusing for her but now her kindness is genuine. I hope Leo is as good for her as Sitri was for me. _

_ Day 30 of the Harpstring Moon 2020 _

_ Maybe it's for the better that I don't find my favorite flask. I fill it too easy and empty it even easier. I'm trying to quit. I need to. I'm scared of her waking up alone.  _

_ Day 4 of the Garland Moon 20 _

_ Leo has feelings for Byleth. I can tell. prob more than she can.  _

_ Byleth adores Leonie. always ducks whenever she utters Leo's name.  _

_ I thought when we got to a point where Byleth fell for someone I'd tell her be cautious, ready for rejection but _

_ I can't convince myself that Byleth needs to. Maybe that's how I raised her. I didn't think she'd get to live a full life. now I hate myself because she might but there's no way I'll see it.  _

_ Maybe that's why people say loved ones watch from heaven. don't think my soul will rest until I see if she succeeds.  _

_ Day 15 garland Moon _

_ Rainy. Feel like itll be time soon. no hope after I spent a lifetime addicted. I cant quit now anyways. _

_ I hope Byleth checks under the floor finds this when I'm gone. There's a lot I should have told her. I don't even remember all of them but I know I've written them down.  _

_ I know that Leonie is good for her. &Byleth is good for her to. It used to be that Leo didnt like people but Byleth has helped.Mary is a nice girl. A natural. She has talent for a job like this. happy that Byleth and Leo bring the best from eachother in a way I didnt _

_ relly is just like me/sitri _

_ If you read this Byleth Im sorry  _

_ garland 18 _

_ cloudy a little foggy. its nice _

She doesn't know if Byleth forgives him. If Byleth has had too many fears confirmed or if she knows that Jeralt did care in his own way. A gruff and distant drunk who suddenly lost his wife and became a single father to a kid that wasn't ordinary… maybe that isn't the life Jeralt expected for himself. All they can do is be better at adapting than he was.

Leonie still isn't sure she's okay with the complexes he installed in Byleth. But she can only forgive what he did to her, and pain and all, he made her life better. He led her here, to where she is now, and every day is because he had faith in her. 

She doesn't have all the right words that Byleth deserves, but she says what she has. 

"I'm glad that I know you. And I'm glad we're in this together." 

Byleth looks her in the eyes. Though she's taller than Leonie, the way she hunches and bends her knees to sit on the couch makes her head just the right height for Leonie to kiss her. It's so soft that young Leonie would be grossed out at how mushy she's become but never mind that. It's the here and now. 

Byleth accepts it with a hand on Leo's knee, but she's too shocked to return it. Leo doesn't want Byleth to be shocked that Leo likes her. Not when she definitely deserves it.

"Wanna try it again?" 

Byleth blinks and nods. "If you can put up with me." With a fierce blush: "My first kiss."

Leo looks straight into those eyes with such soul she never before appreciated, and she wonders how she thought Byleth was ever cold and impersonal. "Byleth, I promise you that I never have to put up with you." 

And with that, she kisses Byleth again. It goes better this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God Leonie is a romantic. I'm stealing her lines.


	15. I see so clearly we are not going away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was like "maeve, take it slow, don't go straight into this" then I realized that they probably canonically have the combined libido of a Nevadan brothel and just let em go ahead.

Cleaning out Jeralt's room is all that they have the energy to do that day. 

That, and they redirect it.

To be fair, they’re emotionally exhausted. Leonie doesn’t think any worse of them for indulging. A lot. Besides, Marianne has taken a few days off to regroup, so she says. It feels like more than that, but that's more Leo knowing that she's been depressed before and even then that's just observation. Either way, she needs time to regroup and it's not like the farm is going anywhere. 

Not like they are either.

They're not even going a few steps out of the bedroom.

  
  


Leonie realizes it when Byleth tosses her top at the wall and she starts to crack up, because _Holy Fuck She Might Be Delirious._

"Is something funny?" Byleth sincerely asks, eyes blank as she balances on her palms, precariously above Leonie. 

"I just can't believe we didn't even go like thirty minutes without…" Leo giggles. Is she  _ embarrassed  _ by herself? That's new. "I mean, I know I tend to be thirsty, but you suggested it so cavalier, and I was like, huh, that sounds great. Better not think about it." 

"Do you mind?" 

Leo shakes her head before thinking because thinking it through is still new to her. When she does, she realizes that taking a hot girl to bed within the hour is how she interacted with those she'd never see again. She didn't think much about them. Attachments meant she had something to lose, but… this was different. This was desperation. She had to. It's gonna hurt like a motherfucker if she ever lost Byleth. She can't go back now.

"I don't," she reaffirms. "It's different but… I'm different."

_ Because of you. _

"Good," she says, grabbing Leonie's arm, pressing her body weight against her. _Goddess damn, By._ "Because it was hard to hold you every night while trying to push these thoughts out of my head." 

Leonie narrows her eyes, her heartbeat hammering in her chest. "Oh really? What thoughts?"

Byleth shows her.

_ Close enough now. _

Leonie and Byleth have laid together before. They already sleep that way every night. Leo always subconsciously appreciated Byleth's form from an ergonomic perspective- it's soft and hard at once letting Leo grip her neck quite hard without feeling lacerated. Byleth was also soul-crushingly cute many a time. Every time an expression crossed Byleth's face, it was with confused blank eyes that eventually faded away into a relaxed state. All of that was under the distance of uncertainty. There seemed to be more pressing matters than trying to figure out what they were. 

It's a vulnerable feeling. It's vulnerable because Leonie wants this. She wants this deeply. It isn't like when she was younger and saw the girls who flirted with her as temporary. Either they knew they'd never last or they learned the hard way. It's different with Byleth. With Byleth, she'll get lost in hopeless kisses that she wouldn't dare redirect, tempting fate in such a cocky way. Kisses that feel like they've lasted for time immemorial until she looks up and the world is ever the same and Leonie realizes that there will be more. That it won't stop.

Those realizations always seem to hit in a way that makes Byleth ask "What did you see?" 

"You." 

And she's right; Byleth leans over her like a wave and Leonie lives for the crash on her body, over and over and over. It feels so fulfilling, from her head to her toes. And just as lovely is when they do nothing at all but lie in each other's arms, because it feels different now. It isn't just Miss Eisner and her two ranch hands making something out of this dump; it's Byleth, Leonie, and Marianne, but Byleth and Leonie making something out of each other.

Passion guides their earliest encounters. Leonie hasn't had a good lay in so long she'd forgotten that everything still worked down there, and Byleth hasn't  _ ever.  _ In fact, by how spooked Byleth seems about everything despite her evident want, Leo isn't sure that she ever  _ wanted  _ this before, but she shows enough hunger that she makes it clear that she wants this now. 

Does it get in the way of their work? On their own… to an extent. Hard to work with a hot girl you're always a two-sentence exchange away from boning in your own giant empty property. Besides, if they get it out of their system now it'll make them more productive when Marianne comes back and a sideways glance with bedroom eyes can make anything happen anywhere, bedroom or no. 

Marianne returns after a week. She really needed that time off, Leonie surmises. Sadly, the two don't have much progress to show, and Leo feels bad that Marianne shows confusion that they've slowed but doesn't mention anything until she sees the way that Leo holds Byleth's far hand, reaching around her back and casually resting her arm on her ass. 

She starts to giggle. "Oh," she barely gets out. "Oh, okay. I get it now." 

"Get what?" Leo asks like playing dumb will work in any scenario. 

"Guessing the sex." 

Leo slaps her forehead with her free hand. "Byleth, I gotta teach you a few things about subtlety." 

"Before or after you teach me other things?" 

Leonie sputters amid Marianne trying to withhold a giggle fit. "You can tease now? Fuckin' Nemesis, I've created a monster." She turns to Marianne. "Giving this girl more confidence to tease me is internalized homophobia." 

Marianne bursts out laughing. 

"I should probably tell you that I'm not, like… not staying here because of you two." 

Leonie doesn't know if she believes Marianne considering her hair is still a mess hours later and Byleth has a hickey on her neck that she doesn't care to hide one way or the other. But whatever. 

The new couple is on the couch trying and failing not to obviously hold each other, and Marianne is sitting on the piano bench trying not to catch anything, Leo guesses.

“It’s a nice idea,” she says, trying not to be too flustered. 

“Now’s objectively as good a time as ever,” Byleth adds. Leonie swivels her head to glare at her, but she just shrugs. “Odds are, she was thinking it. I just didn’t want to make her say it.”

Marianne looks down. “I mean… I wouldn’t be so crass about it. You shouldn't feel embarrassed." With a fierce blush: “I’ve been in love before.”

Leonie bites her tongue before she says  _ me too. _

"I went back to town… for kind of a silly reason, honestly. I've, uh… been dealing with things in my…" Marianne finds the floor interesting, as she is wont to do. "My heart, I guess. 

Byleth nods. “Us too.”

Marianne giggles. “See, that’s… it makes me happy. I wanted to go back and… tell her how I felt. Establish something. But I was… shy. I'm too afraid, even though I'm really sure… you know, that she does feel that way. It's never certain." 

"I'd never have told Lee if she didn't make the first move." 

"Well,  _ now  _ I'm glad I did." 

Marianne giggles. "See, like… I was just gonna get back to work and forget it. I'll still work, but… I wanna have what you have.”

“Including what we  _ just  _ had?”

“ _ Byleth! _ ” 

Though as incensed as Leonie is, she has to admit that’s a far better joke than she’s ever heard Byleth make. Still, her head is ducked under her arms, face bright red. Meanwhile, Byleth looks…  _ enviously  _ unfazed. Marianne is definitely closer to Leonie than Byleth. 

"I meant more like… when you built up to this, I noticed. You were falling for each other." 

"Everyone noticed," Leonie says like she wasn't unsure if Byleth actually felt something about the woman she slept beside and shared all her secrets to.

"I didn't." 

"I-it's okay, Byleth," Marianne says, hand up. "Look, I just… I wanted to let you know that watching your story come together…" She places it down and her eyes follow. "It made me… want mine to do the same with Hilda." 

Byleth smiles widely, looking at her lover tucked beneath her arm. "You can do it. If I can, you can." 

Leonie claps once, scaring Marianne a little. "And, just so you know, you  _ absolutely  _ deserve it, girl." 

Marianne beams with pride, blushing with her eyes closed. In that moment, Leonie wants nothing more than for her to be happy.

Out of respect for Marianne, the couple holds off on their shenanigans while she's here, because believe it or not they are kind of adults. She even stands her ground in her own Marianne way, asserting that she'll need their help. "Your present, focused, non-distracted help." Leonie's impressed that she dug deep enough to find her balls, metaphorically (and hell, maybe literally for all she knows) speaking. 

Leo likes having Marianne as their manager. As opposed to her not really having a direction and Byleth having a direction only she knows, Marianne slowly works from the ground up. Right now, she works to make this a place the three of them are proud of. That’s why she’s been so focused on the stable and horses and maintaining the grounds. Byleth’s been focused on that too, but Leonie reads longevity into her actions, which reflect in her eyes. The signposts aren’t for her since she’s memorized the property to the point of cartography already, and they aren’t for Leonie since, hell, she doesn’t do anything without tying herself to Byleth save for the early morning jogs she’s been too distracted to take. 

Marianne keeps it simple. She asks Byleth what areas are untouched since she has the area memorized. Where Byleth directs them, Marianne sends them. Leo trusts them implicitly. She’s got major feelings for Byleth and Marianne deserves all the trust and respect of her authority that Leo can afford. Anyone could gather that this is new territory for her, but she’s able to piece together the first layer plan for them with ease- a nice cleanup of the property that Jeralt wouldn’t have done himself.

_ Jeralt.  _ That’s still something that lingers with Leo. She hates that she had no idea of how bad everything was. Even if she did, she’s not sure what she could have done. So much of what she has done is to fix mistakes she hasn’t the magnitude of him making. She enjoys Byleth and her company immensely, and she’s got natural drive to do well by this ranch. It’s a natural drive. None of it was to fix anything. None of it is a feeling of obligation. This is just… the closest thing she’s ever had to a home and she’ll work for it. She’ll work to be a person who deserves a normal life. 

They’re almost done when Leo gets the call from Raph. 

Despite already having gotten a hint from Maya, Raph feels a need to sell it to Leonie and Byleth. “It’s gonna be a full house,” Raph says with glee. “You and Byleth and Maya and Annette and Ann’s friend Mercedes and me and that dude Ignatz from school!” 

Byleth is behind her on the bed, and Raph needs no speakerphone for Byleth to hear him and shrink up a bit at the proud proclamation that everyone and their mother would be there. Leonie swallows and says “that many, huh?”

“Keep this on the D.L.,” Raph says in a very nonsecretive volume of voice, “but this is supposed to be a special occasion. That’s all I’ll say. But you two  _ gotta  _ be there, okay?" 

Leonie looks at Byleth. Byleth blinks and says "It'll suck but… let's go." 

Leonie nods with a smile, tracing a circle inside her hand. "Okay, I gotcha, Raph. I'll be excited." She looks up at Byleth, who tries to force a smile and fails. Leo shakes her head and says "just be sure to be accommodating to us, okay?" 

"Absolutely, Leo. I promise." 

The two gab a little bit of useless stuff but Leo decides to end it a little early so she can check on Byleth. Byleth's smiling, tracing the patterns of the comforter covering her naked body. "You gonna be okay, By?" 

Byleth nods. "If I have you, probably." 

Leo smirks and yanks the comforter to cover her as well. "You serious? Of course you'll have me, babe." She places her hands on Byleth's shoulders. "Anytime you want." 

"I'd like to have you for a long time," Byleth admits. Leonie loves it when she adds the qualifier  _ I,  _ and she can't pinpoint exactly why. Maybe it's just Byleth being in control of the vessel that thinks so highly of Leo. "I hope that's not too much to ask." 

"Never," Leo breathes huskily, digging her fingers into the flesh of Byleth's back. "Never, By." 

"I'm, ah- I'm obsessed with you," Byleth admits with a grunt. "It doesn't happen often, but… it's powerful." 

"I'm glad. I'm obsessed with you too, babe." 

"You're not scared?" 

"No. You are  _ just  _ what I wanted." Leo isn't saying that either to launch them into the mood (like her legs wrapping around Byleth aren't doing that already). She means it. She's so happy she  _ gets  _ to be crazy in love. 

"Me?" 

Leonie stops talking and lets her fervent, pushing kiss give her answer.


	16. can i

Raphael's house feels like a different place when it's packed. Leo's used to it being her, Maya, Raph, and sometimes Annette. Tonight, there's Byleth, Marianne, Hilda, Ignatz, and Annette's big sisterlike friend Mercedes, twenty-eight years old with a short blonde bob and a smile that's eager to bake cookies for new friends. Leo doesn't know much about good moms but Mercedes was practically manufactured by the mother corporation. 

Raph and Ignatz are trying to cook enough for the eleven of them (Raph counts as three people the way he eats). They seem… more than usual; Raph louder and more talkative, and Iggy more nervous and star struck than before. It feels weighty in a comforting way. 

She and Byleth are sitting on the couch. It's a snug fit with Mercedes next to them and Marianne softly talking with Hilda below their feet, but Leonie doesn't mind. Byleth is ergonomic as hell, or perhaps she's just extremely accommodating. 

She wants to ask Marianne when she's alone if things worked out with Hilda. Sure, Hilda is touchy feely with her and calls her pet names and currently is sitting in Marianne's lap but from the little Leo knows about her Hilda would be that way anyways. Still, the soft way Mari smiles and doesn't stop, can't stop, makes Leo wonder if she succeeded. 

Across from them is Maya, sitting on the recliner with Annette in her lap. It's the most nervous that Leo has ever seen Maya, who keeps stumbling over words and running to the bathroom so much that Annette gets tired of the constant getting-up that she steals the chair. Leo knows Maya is hiding something and that there's a reason Raph invited the neighborhood over, but she wasn't filled in on what it was. That makes her a little sad, but she's been busy with her own life. Maybe that's just how things go.

Still, she's not about to lose her friends. She's too used to burning her ships when her life changes into something new. That can't happen this time.

Maya tugs on Byleth's hand, giddily saying "it's so nice to finally meet you!"

"Finally?"

Leo covers her face. Jesus Christ, Maya. 

"Can we talk for a few moments, Lelo?"

Sufficiently embarrassed, Lelo nods. Byleth chuckles and nods, allowing Maya to gently lead her out of the room. 

Leonie looks over at Mercedes, who brought something to sew because of course she did. When asked, Mercedes- in such a high pitched voice that it seems inauthentic- says she's making a scarf. Leo points out that it's springtime and Mercedes says it's very cold and snowy in Faerghus. With a giggle, she adds that for her first month here, Annette would call her and complain about the heat. Her response was always "'That sounds nice, Annie!'" With a giggle, she adds "I don't think that was helpful to her!" 

Leo smiles like a dope. Their friendship sounds so pure. She envies it in some ways, but she also loves what she has with Raph. 

Mercedes tells Leo more about Annette. Always prodigiously steadfast to jeez goals, she moved to Enbarr because of Maya. They'd dated online from the senior year of high school to now and Annette specifically attended school here to get close to Maya. She'd always tell Mercie that whatever hardship was annoying her was worth it every time after she stopped complaining because she was here and she was happy.

That touches Leo because not only did the Kirsten siblings move here after their parents died, but Leonie's life also led her across Fodlan to here. What a coincidence that she, Raph, Maya, Annette, Byleth, and Marianne would all congregate here to find each other and a better life.

Byleth and Maya re-enter the room. Byleth is blushing and Maya is jittery like she swallowed a box of jumping beans. Byleth sits next to Leo again, smiling ear to ear, and lightly kisses her on the cheek.

Leo giggles. She's probably blushing but whatever. "What was that for?" 

"I was just happy." 

Leo can get used to no-reason kisses like that. 

"You're my girlfriend, right?" 

Leo isn't sure how to answer that. That question tends to be a little make or break and she doesn't want to freak out Byleth. But considering that they live together in a cabin rebuilding a farm, have sex and cuddle on the regular, and share personal secrets with each other while thinking of spending a long time together… maybe Leo's just bad at things but it's certainly a little more than just friends. 

So she says "Yeah. I mean, if you want." 

"I do," Byleth responds, nuzzling into her chest without caring what others think, quite like someone who's not being platonic would do. "Just was confused cause I never had one. Or thought I would." 

Leonie holds her close. It's similar to her; yeah, she had girlfriends but never… serious ones. Like, capital G girlfriends. "Well, you have one now, Bee. Good job." 

"Bee…" 

Byleth does a little buzz in between Leo's breasts, causing her to flush as bright as her hair. "Uh, save that for later, okay?" 

Shit, it  _ better  _ happen later. 

Raph and Ignatz finally finish dinner. "Call 'em in, Iggy!" Raph shouts like that didn't get enough attention. A good amount of people rush in, Byleth and Leonie last. 

Everyone gets a plate but Maya doesn't finish hers, which is concerning. Ignatz, ever the worrywart, asks if she's sick. Raph chuckles and says "She's definitely feeling something." Byleth hears him and chuckles knowingly. 

"Something's up," Leo surmises, eyes narrowed.

"Yep," Byleth admits, a bite of Mac and Cheese in her mouth. "It's all good though." 

"Is that why she talked to you?" 

Byleth thinks, then mimes zipping her mouth shut and throwing away the key.

Leo gets it a few minutes before it happens. She must look like she had a vision from the Goddess. Byleth sees the look on her face and nods with a knowing smile. That confirms it. All of her jitters, her constant nerves, her lack of eating, and her consultation of the only other autistic woman in the room.

"She's so young though…" 

"She's twenty-one," Byleth points out in a whisper that only Leo can hear. "At least that's what she told me. Is she?" 

Leo blinks, then nods. That's technically true, but at the vantage point of twenty-five and only recently having a vague direction in life, Maya is a baby barely learning to walk. Or maybe she's a lot further ahead than Leo gave her credit for. Further than Leo herself.

"Holy shit." 

After that, she waits for it, perking up whenever Maya says anything loudly. Since it's Maya, everything she says is loud, perking Leo every time with a false alarm.

"There's so many people," Byleth says. "It's… a lot." Before Leo can say anything, Byleth adds "But it's okay. I expected this." 

Finally,  _ finally,  _ Maya claps sharply break through whatever haze Leo was in. Byleth leans up from Leo's shoulder and kindly taps it, pointing at Maya, who's standing up, stretching her arms, and has eight sets of eyes on her.

Annette's look the most confused and eager.

Then Maya closes her eyes.

"I can't remember what I was gonna say and no offense but you're all gonna drive me nuts for reasons that so aren't your fault if you keep having to wait. So, like…" She sighs. "Here goes." 

"Here goes what?" Annette asks.

"I'm gonna talk to you," Maya says, "but in front of everyone. And I'm gonna riff and be scared but… like, back when we were just friends we were at, like, the right age to talk about life." 

"There's never a right age," Leo whispers quickly. Byleth squeezes her bicep and points at Maya with a shush. 

"We just had a ton of plans. Even though we were different we knew we could do it. And that's when I first like… imagined this. And as we started on a consistent path, it was like… this is how we're going." Maya slowly starts to blubber more as she speaks. "And I know that school is new to you and we have a long way to go but, baby, I have to ask. I have to know." 

She reaches in her pocket for such a conspicuously hidden box that she reckons that everyone except Annette noticed it. When Maya opens it, Annette screams and immediately hugs Maya, screaming "Yes! Yes! Oh my  _ God! _ " 

"I can wait until school's over," Maya says, trembling as she places the ring on Annette's finger. "And I'm gonna get set up at the shop. I just couldn't take another day of going 'what if?', like, I  _ had  _ to commit." 

"I'm so glad, sugar bear. I'm so glad. And I wanna be your wife  _ so bad! _ " She pecks every part of Maya's face as they both giggle and cry. 

"Oh my God, Nettie," Maya breathes. In a voice that shows that she never expected to be here. "This is really happening."

A lot of people are emotional. There are tears, congratulations, and the occasional flash of a camera as pictures are taken of the wonderful, ecstatic, oddball couple. 

And though she wouldn't admit it to anyone but Byleth, and though she doesn't even know how she is, Leo's one of the people crying. When she goes to hug Maya, even she comments on it through her own tears. 

"It's cause I'm so proud of you," Leo tells her. "I've always been. I'm so glad you turned out so well." 

The house has always felt a bit lonelier with Marianne staying back in town with Hilda. It's just her and Byleth, already in bed. There's no energy between them to do things too adventurous since Byleth is soundly overwhelmed by the party and Leonie just kind of likes the sort of sleepy dynamic that feels longer than it is but never long enough. So they're just cuddling in each other's arms and letting the midnight sky run its course until the sun rises again. 

"That was lovely," Leo says. "That kid just… I'm so proud of her. I knew her since she had braces and now she fuckin' put a ring on it." 

Byleth nods. She's done with speaking and has her head against the pulse in Leo's neck. It makes it easier to be vulnerable. So she adds "And like… I don't even think I have that level of guts." 

Byleth looks up at her.

"To just… go for what I want in life. I overthink everything. Like, if I'll be able to do what I want. If I deserve to. It's weird, but sometimes just being happy is like rebellion. Like I'm breaking the rules." 

Byleth strokes Leo's arm to the wrist, her own hand resting on Byleth's waist. Leo kind of gets what she means. "Yeah, like… I appreciate it. I appreciate you, hon. But like… so much of my life I heard the same thing. Like, she's a delinquent. A punk. She has no future. Now that I have one, it feels forbidden." 

Byleth softly kisses Leo's neck where her head is while lazing an arm behind her back. Leo tries not to shake at her touch. Her whole life, she expected touch to be rough and calculating, not… loose and loving. 

Slowly, Byleth whispers so softly her voice is nearly lost to the night "It feels nice to me." 

Leo closes her eyes and smiles, holding Byleth closer. It's easy not to overthink things with this woman in her arms, a nullifier to her fears. Maybe the fact that she achieved the affections of such a tough and unique woman shows that she can accomplish things that are too big for her.

Maybe she can be someone


	17. when I wake up in the morning I'm gonna tell

A couple of days later is when they decide to bite the bullet again. 

"It's been so long," Byleth says over coffee, hunched over and barely sitting on the couch. "I just feel like we need to." 

Leo nods, trying not to get overcome with anxiety. "I guess I've mostly been waiting for him to wake up. Every time we call up we hear the same thing." 

"Still…" 

Leo nods. She doesn't need to say anymore. "He's your dad. And my mentor." 

Byleth takes a sip of coffee. She's shaking so much that she barely gets it in. "I just don't want to leave him." 

"Definitely." 

Byleth sets the cup down and looks straight ahead. She's focusing on something, Leonie knows, and it's best not to guess for her because she'll either forget or take that out.

Still, waiting is its own special form of agony.

Finally, Byleth asks "Do you think he's gonna wake up?" 

Leonie sucks in a sharp breath. Byleth just punched her in the gut with those words. Well, it was more like she accidentally dropped a lit bomb directly onto Leo and her initial reaction already tells Byleth what she needs to know.

"I see," she whispers. "It's okay." 

"Doesn't feel okay," Leo admits. "And I'm not sure if it all gets across that way." 

Byleth turns to her, inquisitive in a way too vulnerable to be guarded.

"I…" Leonie looks for words. "I'm kind of a pessimist. You know that."

"Prepared for the worst." 

"Yeah. And… I'm doing that. Because… the important thing is, whether he makes it or not, or whether I think he'll make it or not, we're, like… doing something. Preparing. We're redoing the ranch, the home… our lives. And we knew early along that things had to change, whether or not he'd see it. And I don't want us to lose that." 

Byleth nods. "We are. You, me, and Marianne." She pulls Leo closer to her and Leo sees why such a shady protective giant of a lady was called The Tree. "And I promise we won't lose that." 

Leo weaves her fingers into Byleth's against her abdomen. Maybe someday she'll stop being thrown by the simple touches that Byleth imparts, but she feels like she's on a rollercoaster.

"I just… I'm not ready to lose him either." 

If this were a simple case of liver failure, he'd be back. He'd be on borrowed time, but awake. This isn't that simple. 

They seemed to miss out on a lot. A lot of words said by the hospital give Leonie a sinking feeling. A feeling of being right all along. The sticking word is  _ aneurysm.  _ Leonie isn't gonna pretend she knows what it is other than the doctors explaining it's a ruptured blood cell in the brain, but that alone is enough to make her want to throw up again.

It's the way Byleth reacts that scares her. Byleth just nods. She hears the news like she expected it or knew it all along. She still tears up. She still grabs Leonie's hand like she'll evaporate without it. But Leo knows she could only get that far if she was already prepared.

In the elevator, Leonie asks in a hushed but deadly tone, one that says  _ don't you dare lie to me  _ without as many words "Did you know about this?" 

Byleth doesn't say anything. She only nods.

"Why didn't you tell me?" 

Byleth doesn't respond. 

"Why is he still alive?" 

Byleth still doesn't respond. 

"Please tell me," Leonie begs. "If not now, later. I need to know why the  _ fuck _ you didn't tell me." She's shaking all over, from anger or panic she can't tell. 

She feels a trace of a circle in her palm and barks "Don't you tell me to calm down!"

Byleth nods. She's trembling in Leonie's hand. Leo takes the liberty to glance at her. She looks just as terrified, and Leo doesn't know a goddamn thing other than how much she feels like a child. 

Jeralt's room in the hospital is different but he's more or less the same. His hair is still freshly shaved and he's still kept alive by tubes that do nothing to reassure her that he's ever coming back.

Byleth looks at him. She and Leonie are sitting on chairs nearby, looking at him. Byleth holds his hand, seeming lost in thought. She turns to Leonie like she has the answers and not just an infinite number of questions. 

Then she admits "Just wanted you back, Dad. Just wanted to make you proud. And see you again. Awake. Alive. And I'd tell you everything and you would be proud. But I've kept you here for too long, I just can't. Can't let go. Love you too much." 

It's an admission to Leonie as much as it is to her father. Leonie just squeezes her hand. Byleth couldn't tell Leo her reasons directly but Leo's surprisingly okay with that. 

"She's gonna make you proud," Leo promises. "I'm proud of her. And of us. Me, her, and Marianne. We're a dream, and you brought us together. You had faith in me. And I wish you had more faith in your kid. But…" 

Leo chokes up once. She can't let herself sob or Byleth will too, but she's intensely grief-stricken and her only outlet is how much she loves Byleth.

"You didn't hold us back. At the end of the day. We're gonna… we're gonna be amazing, Jeralt. I promise."

“I wish you hadn’t lied to me,” Leo says. The two sit with each other on the couch of whatever lifeless administrative room the doctors put them in. Leonie makes sure that she stays close to Byleth so Byleth doesn’t fear the worst, but she just… has to address it. She’s always been Loudmouth Leonie from school to now and the most she can do is redirect her emotion.

Byleth sighs. “Yeah. That’s valid.”

“I just… why didn’t you? Why didn’t you tell me that he wasn’t gonna make it?”

“I wasn’t certain. The idea of Daddy…” She sniffles. “It didn’t feel real. Even when they told me. Not until you said it. That’s when I had to start to let go.”

“The outburst?”

Byleth looks down. “Was scared to tell you. Felt like such a child… hoping, wishing. Thought if you found out you’d be disgusted in me.”

“Never,” Leonie says, gripping her hand hard enough to show, hey look, she’s staying. “I would never be disgusted in you for trying. I’m only hurt because you didn’t tell me. You know… we can’t do things behind the other’s backs if we want to make this partnership work.” 

“I want to, Leonie,” Byleth says, tears overtaking her. She has such a peculiar way of crying- her face doesn’t scrunch up but tears fall from her eyes like sweat. “I was wrong. I was wrong, and I won’t do it again.”

“It's okay, baby, I know you won't.” Leonie loosens but does not remove her grip on her lover’s hand. “We just… we know what we have to do.” 

Byleth sobs once.

“I know… I know… trust me, I know.”

A doctor comes in with a solemn look on their wrinkled, exhausted face. They try to smile but can't. Something gnaws a hole in Leo's stomach as she sees it. She knows what it is, and she's tried to steel herself for it. Byleth, however, doesn't change in expression. She's not usually good at reading facial expressions unless it's Leo's, then she reads way too much yet just about enough into it.

She grabs Byleth's hand with force and traces circles into it.

"Miss Eisner," they say warmly. "You brought a friend with you." 

"Girlfriend," Byleth insists, not making eye contact.

They leave the hospital area as soon as possible. 

Byleth stops driving near the parking lot to the ranch and starts to sob harder than she ever has, so hard her face does contort and scrunch. Leo hugs her even though she can't really hold back either. 

And that's okay.

They don't know for certain the exact moment that Jeralt leaves the Earth, but Leonie feels a chill through her back just before she goes to prepare dinner. Byleth looks at her, and it's like she experienced the same thing. 

The two hold each other.

They're not hungry after all.

Jeralt's body is cremated. Byleth says he never told her what he wanted so this is her best guess. The ashes of him are let loose near the pond that they still occasionally fish at. He's gone with the wind and the two can only hold onto each other's arms as he becomes a memory, a breeze on the property that seeps into every acre. 

"Hope you enjoy it here, Dad. And I hope I did you proud getting ready for this." 

The two look at each other. Their eyes are never clear and haven't been for days. At the very least, Leo isn't worried that Byleth will leave her after how much she cried. Byleth doesn't even stop looking at her like she's a miracle. It's a farewell to her fears and faith in what comes next.

They will still stand.

Marianne calls Leonie the same day. The two exchange condolences the best that they can but it's clear that Marianne isn't as rattled by death or by Jeralt's death nearly as much. Leo decides that's okay, even if she wishes Marianne  _ had  _ gotten to know him better. Maybe that's something Marianne isn't able to do as easily if it's not someone like Hilda. 

"So why is it that you called?"

Marianne's quiet for a moment. Then: "Do you still have room for me?" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know how in 3H they pack in all the ball stuff and dance competitions and levity into one month and it ends like...


	18. all I can do is say "things will be fine", and some days we will be

Leo's feeling petty that it's no longer her and Byleth in the house.

She also feels overjoyed.

It's a weird combination. 

Marianne doesn't set up in Jeralt's room. Even though they cleaned it, that's probably a good decision; there's bad juju emanating from it. Still, she's on the couch journaling something as Leo finishes dinner and Byleth is off showering. Leo's a slow eater when she's bored, and Marianne isn't exactly entertainment, but she's naturally comforting. A birdsong on a dreary day that sounds beautiful and arresting when she focuses on it.

"What are you journaling, Mari?" 

Marianne coughs. "Er, as you could imagine, it's… journal stuff. So…"

"Private. Gotcha." Leo swallows the last bite of her mac and cheese. "See, I wasn't sure if you were planning anything. You're really industrious." 

Marianne blushes. "Th-that's sweet, Leonie. But I'm not really. I'm trying to get into the habit more, though." 

"Compared to me, you are," Leonie retorts. "I'm mostly just a hired mook. I don't really have many ideas myself. I just wanna see what you and Bee have planned." 

Marianne smiles downward at Byleth's nickname. "She calls me Mari Berry a lot." 

Leo doesn't hear at first. "What?" Then she replays it in her head. "Oh. Hilda. That's cute! See, I like that." 

Marianne blushes. "M-me too. Hilda's good at nicknames." Her smile betrays that Hilda is good at a lot of things that make Marianne happy. Leo should send her chocolates for that alone. 

"So why'd you come back here?" 

Marianne looks down. "Well, Hilda and I are taking it slow for now. Uhm, my request. She was really cool with it, though." 

Leonie nods with a smile. She remembers the way Hilda sang for her. That bitch is so  _ extra,  _ which is perfect because Marianne sometimes needs an extravagant amount of affection and love. "That doesn't really answer my question though," she realizes aloud.

Marianne chuckles, embarrassed. "I'm sorry. Uh, basically what I meant to say is we don't live together so I can move over here for now. If you're all cool with that." 

Leonie gestures towards her sparse few boxes of things that she took with her, all lined up neatly in the living room. "We're fine with it," Leo confirms. "You knucklehead." 

"Are you sure?" Marianne asks. "It's been you and Byleth for a long while. I feel like I'm intruding." 

Leo shakes her head. "We're not gonna be disruptive if that's what you're worried about." Hell, there's a whole property for them, about a square mile wide or something. They wouldn't even have to be heard. It's kind of embarrassing that she has a whole scientific approach to the matter but seriously, give her a break. 

"I'm not too worried," Marianne says with a flush. "I just feel like… I'm invading your home." 

Leo isn't sure that this is her home. With Jeralt's passing, it's Byleth's now, probably, but Leonie's? That isn't… something about it feels too good for her. Even though she's lived here for months now, she doesn't feel like this place belongs to her.

So she comes to a conclusion. "If this place is mine, it's also yours." With a chuckle: "You don't have to seduce the head of household just to get a place here." 

"Helps though," Byleth pops up. Leonie swerves around to see her emerging from the bathroom wrapped in a towel. Her jaw drops and she sincerely tries not to look too insatiable, but  _ damn,  _ does she want to take a drive with her. Byleth reaches her bedroom and Leo tears her eyes away. 

To her dismay and joy alike, Marianne is shamelessly giggling. "I'm, ah… pretty sure it's a two way street, Leo."

Leo chuckles bitterly. "Fuck. Probably." Then she looks down at her still-full plate. "Haven't touched my food." 

Marianne nods, making an empathetic noise. "I'll dish up after I finish my journaling." Then she clears her throat, causing Leo to look at her. "And, uhm… thanks for everything." 

"Absolutely. You're one of us, Mari." 

The wheels slowly get back in motion. 

Byleth is less of a mess than Leonie figured but she doesn't need to love her to know that she's holding back a river. Luckily, she does, and she creates a language of gentle touches and squeezes used to communicate different, specific things. 

They can cry in the nighttime, if it helps them work during the day.

With Mari back, the three of them sit down regularly and have meetings about what to do. Byleth, feeling the weight of owning the entire property, does her best to take charge. "I want to make something out of this whole thing," she says. She starts more sentences with  _ I  _ and  _ we  _ like she's okay not being a cryptid. Like she's okay being seen.

"What do you think we should make of it?" Leonie asks. "You've got the muscle and the brains, and I know  _ you're  _ the beauty, so it's not like we can't do something with it." 

Byleth lightly pushes her. "I'd argue you're the beauty but Mari's right here so we shouldn't get into an argument about who's hotter." 

"Maybe we both maxed out on beauty and brawn because neither of us have much for brains." 

Marianne giggles to herself. "No, it's ok, I can listen to this." 

Byleth isn't sure what to make of it but over time becomes more sure of it. She spends a lot of time in her room, always sketching onto a giant slab of paper. She doesn't tell Leo what it is, but slowly the outside road, horse ranch, and other familiar things pop up on the paper.

They give Leonie an idea.

On her own, she goes to explore the area. With Byleth's okay, she takes the truck on a few dirt roads throughout. She explores around the area, finding fields that Cord would love to walk through and graze on, edges of small cliffs and rocky descents that she's told that the property ends on, and forests that seem to be endless.

Pretty soon, she starts to take Cord on these trips and realizes that the most wasted opportunity the ranch has experienced is how they only cut a small area of land to take the horses on. The forests are so much grander from the point of view of Cord, two shadows in landscapes far larger than they, barely illuminated by the light in trees. 

She familiarizes herself with the fields and feels like they need to be filled with something. It's so open and level that… they have to do something. Just being like this is nice- she loves Byleth, but the two have rarely spent time apart since she first moved in… since… well, a lot she does and doesn't care to think about.

Not when it's such a nice day.

She does return home as the sun sets- not the best thing to do when it's nearly summer's end. Thankfully, neither of the two women seemed to worry. Marianne points to the kitchen and says "Byleth made dinner." 

She goes in to see a nice plate of fish and crab salad. Byleth hasn't seemed to get much of a mind as to what entrees seem to go together, but whatever, she's not gonna bite the hand that feeds her. She takes it and sits back on the couch next to Marianne. 

"What have you been doing all day?" Marianne asks. "When I went to the stables Cord was gone." 

"Just riding," Leo responds. "Surveying. Trying to cover as much ground as possible." Then her jaw drops. "Wait, Mari, you didn't know! God, I'm sorry." 

"It's okay," Mari says too quickly. "I wasn't too worried after I did some thinking." 

"We gotta get the pager system or whatever working again," Leo insists. "Tone down the confusion." 

Mari smiles. "That would be a good idea. Though I don't think the old one worked that well. It got fuzzy over long distances a lot." 

"So we need a better one." 

"How do you suppose we do that?" 

Leo shrugs. "We literally could just get walkie talkies. I used to have one to my probation officer so I couldn't ignore him." 

Marianne's eyes widen. "Goodness! That's…" 

"Yeah. I wasn't a great kid, Mari." 

"I was more going to say that I wouldn't do that to you. Just so long as you can trust me, I'll be respectful." 

_ Huh.  _ That's… not how she expected Marianne to react. Sweet and innocent forest fae church girl Marianne. Before this last year she might have thought that insultingly naive, but she likes that Mari saw Leonie's sordid past and only saw how she could be more respectful to her. 

So she says "Thanks. And, uh… I remember them having a long range too. So he could get me from anywhere. And I often ended up doing garbage duty in a few places like this so, like, they'll probably work in the middle of nowhere." She shrugs. "I dunno, though." 

Marianne hums. "I'll have to remember that, Leonie." She sucks in a deep breath, which means she's usually gonna say something that matters. "Did you get your interest in horses doing a job like this for community service?" 

"Through a bunch of those." Leo takes another bite, visibly thinking. "I think one of them was at a ranch and I got to try to ride one of their horses. But whoever was there was one of those do-gooders who thought they were changing my life. As soon as I got in trouble they told me to get lost." With a shrug: "The riding stuck with me enough that they stuck me here next time they wanted to teach their little juvie delinquent a lesson. Then things escalated from there." 

"I'm glad you made something out of it," Marianne says with a sincere smile. 

"Thanks, but I couldn't have done it without Jeralt. All the people I know, you know…" 

Then she stops. Words start hurting but she says them out of protest. "They didn't want me around very long. As soon as I misbehaved or anything, they never knew me. Jeralt was…" She blinks a few times and sighs. "He was the first person to just, like… be patient with me. I didn't know what he saw in me, you know… I was pretty worthless. But like… it was nice, you know? He was the only one who treated me like I'd matter tomorrow…"

She sets her plate down.

"And now he's…" 

She's about to cry. She knows it. She tries to flee out of the house so at the very least Byleth doesn't hear her. She makes it out the front door and almost to the car before she bends over, sobbing. 

Marianne's flats can be heard behind her. She's even sorrier that she dragged Marianne into this until she feels a fierce embrace on her abdomen. She doesn't have anything to say other than continuing to sob. She realizes that she's never truly mourned Jeralt. She's been sad at the general idea that he's gone, and very sad that Byleth is hurting, but grief- the actual feeling of having lost something you feel that you can't go on without, even if just for a moment- no, she's never felt that. 

Marianne says nothing, shushing her occasionally and continuing to hold her. Leonie sees why it works on horses because it brings her comfort… or maybe that's just Marianne. Maybe she's just that incredible.

Byleth holds her extra tight that night. An unfinished map lies between posterboard against the wall next to the bookshelf. Leonie is the one to rest under Byleth's neck, digging in so close that she can almost escape. How troublesome it is when two lovers mourn the same loss. She only hopes she's doing the best she can.

"I heard you," Byleth whispers. 

Leo sighs. "Sorry, Bee." 

"It's okay. I knew you didn't want me to know. I'm just no good at lying." She tucks some of Leo's hair behind her ear. "I'm really glad Dad did right by you. You deserve it." 

"I do?" 

"Of course you do, silly…" 

Leo waits for her to continue but her breaths even out into a sleepy pattern. Leo decides all she can do is trust that she meant it.

Maybe she deserves this.


	19. I'm found, I'm found, and I see it again

It's the day after. Byleth tells them over breakfast "come back at lunch. I'll have it finished by then."

Since all Byleth has really done lately is pore over every detail on that map for the last few days, both of them know what "it" is. Leonie can barely contain herself as she does her work. Even Cord mimics how jumpy and jittery she is, making her force herself to calm down for the time being, even if she keeps checking her watch.

Marianne notices her energy seeing as the two are working at maintaining things near each other and she has two eyes. She keeps stifling laughter and doing her best work. She admits "I'm excited too" and Leo gives her a thumbs up. Marianne is a good person to be around, probably because she's a good person, and possibly because their interests already align enough that they naturally gravitate towards each other, taking on similar tasks in two different ways. They get everything done for the horses at nearly the same time. 

"You explore around here much?" Leo asks as she finishes filling Cord's trough.

"Not very much," Marianne admits, combing Dorte's mane. "Whenever I've left the stable area, it's been with you all, so I've been to the lake but… that's about it." 

Leo grins.

The two of them aren't too far removed from the truck that got them here, but they haven't seen the stables in twenty minutes. Marianne's been politely staring at her surroundings, first out of her side window and now at the field in front of her. On the surface, she seems to be stoic, as though she sees all of the land she has to work with and deems it satisfactory. Still, Leonie sees how her smile breaks out in moments, one unfiltered and unprofessional, full of childlike glee. Whenever Leo meets her eyes, it goes away and she looks down shyly. Leo doesn't want to pressure her, so she says "it's lovely here, huh?"

"It really is…" Marianne smiles warmly. There's none of the giddiness that breaks through, but that doesn't mean it's gone.

"The best part?" Leo gestures around her to encompass the entire thing, flowers and natural trails and tall grass and all. "Fields like this are everywhere. Tons of 'em here." 

Marianne gasps, joy colliding with fear in her eyes. "That's… that's amazing." She slowly sinks to the ground, sitting crosslegged in the tall grass. It reaches up to her chin, her skirt gently covering a portion. She looks pretty divine.

Leo recognizes the flower she's recognized for the millionth time, never getting sick of seeing them. Content, she gets out her pocketknife. "This place is crawling with valerians." She carefully cuts a few at their root. "Can you hold onto these for me?"

Marianne accepts them. "A-are they special?" 

Leo blushes but tries to play it off with a shrug. "They're special between Bee and I." 

"That's reason enough." Marianne blushes. "I, uh… I like that." 

"What kind of flowers do you like?" 

Marianne looks down again, as if scared to ask. "I, uh… I like… I'm not even sure if they're around here." 

"It's just for conversation sake," Leo insists like she isn't gonna try and scour the property for any of those. "So don't sweat it." 

Marianne smiles. "Okay then…" Gently caressing the head of one of the Valerian, she asks "have you ever heard of lily of the valley?" 

"I've heard of lilies and valleys. Not the two together." 

"Oh. That's all right." 

"But they're your favorites, right?" 

"Mmhmm." 

"Thanks for telling me." 

"Oh! You're welcome!" 

Somewhere during the conversation they got back in the truck. Leonie starts it up and they start to peel away. Leo steals a glance at Marianne holding Byleth's flowers with a face of serenity. She decides that's a face that needs flowers of their own.

_ Lily of the valley, huh… _

They make it home just before lunchtime. Leo calls out "Trade you some flowers for a map." 

Byleth steps out of the kitchen. "Just finished it," she says. "Perfect timing." She takes the flowers from Marianne, who's holding them out with a generous smile that likes seeing others happy. Byleth sticks one behind Leo's ear and then another behind a gobsmacked Marianne's, who looks touched. Leonie expected to be a little jealous but she's nothing but charmed. She'll have to tell Byleth about the lily of the valley. 

"Nicely cut," Byleth observes, putting them in the vase she's kept them all in.

"Thank you, Bee." 

Byleth buzzes once, deadpan save for the glint in her eye. Leo giggles.

"Let's eat, and I'll show you." 

Leo doesn't see how she doesn't scarf her portion down in excitement.

After they all finish their lunch (Byleth taking her sweet damn time), they all go into Byleth's bedroom. Byleth goes for a giant drawing pad that presumably has the map in it.

"Sorry this took so long," she says like this isn't a map of the entire property by memory. "I had to get the scaling right, then I retraced the bottom layer which took some time." 

"You retraced. The bottom layer." Leo's mouth hangs open after that.

"Yes. It was hard to see." 

Leo could call out all the ways her mind has been blown by this map already, but she keeps her mouth shut. Or, well, inactive, seeing as her jaw is still dropped. Soon, the map is on display on a 24 x 36 sheet of paper. Byleth plops the entire thing against an easel Leo hadn't seen.

"I didn't think to get overly detailed, so this is as big as it is." 

"Byleth, I think we'll manage. This is incredible." Leo's right- if this isn't  _ overly detailed, _ Byleth adding detail would be every blade of grass and bark chip. The cabin is on the far end on a large roundtop cliff that marks a border. The dirt roads that spider throughout all widen and narrow at specific points, leading to familiar fields and fishing ponds and memories. Leonie thought she'd seen most of it but she's about halfway done. At the end near the main road are the stables, looking so very small that Leo can't believe that used to be all she knew. She can't believe so much is untamed.

Marianne backs Leo's statement with a quiet but emphatic nod. Then, after a few seconds, she carefully asks "what's on the second layer?" 

"O-oh." 

Byleth flips the page. It's like the map went high-res and all the lines became bolder. Not to mention, there are  _ things  _ on the big bare patches. Some of it has instructions:  _ grow pumpkins? Fall?  _ on a patch close to the stables, there's a path now that leads to the pond, semi-paved hiking trails, and several buildings that branch from the stables into something of a visitor's farm.

Leo can't uncover her mouth. 

"This plan is a little rough," Byleth explains. "Obviously we'd tweak it as well as even consider if we can commit that much. But… you know, it was something Leo said that gave me this idea." 

Leo's eyes point at Byleth. If she was shocked  _ before…  _

"You said you already had a lot of good memories here. At the fishing pond and the flowers. And I remember the dirt roads and the drives and the stable and the times we had to each other."

Leo finally sets her hand down, but it's shaking with the rest of her. "Byleth, a lot of that's because you're an awesome babe and I love the hell out of you. You  _ know  _ that, right?"

Byleth blushes, and Marianne giggles warmly at the whole thing. "I figured that could be possible. And I'm pretty sure I'd fall for you, Leo, no matter what. But this place really set the mood. It really feels like ours." She gestures to Marianne. "And that includes you. Uhm, we aren't dating, I mean. As far as I know. But this place really feels like yours too. And I really think the three of us could do some damage." 

Marianne smiles and looks at the map. "This is… a little scary. In how big it is. But…" 

Leo looks at writing atop the top left corner by their house, which is the same on both slides.  _ Valerian Ranch.  _

"It's the biggest thing I've been a part of," Marianne continues. "And I want to see if we can do it. Or at least try. You know?" 

Leonie adjusts the valerian in her hair and tries not to cry. She's just never felt so many varied emotions in such a confluence before.

"We  _ can  _ do it," she swears. "All three of us are beyond capable, and we're gonna prove it. " 

Byleth blushes at Leo, eyes crinkled and wet. Leo gets it. It's the first time that she truly felt like she had a vision for the future that she's proud of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How is this my biggest work  
> And why is the happiness I experienced writing it so remarkable?
> 
> I suppose that technically things COULD end here, but I've got another chapter or three in the backlog.


	20. and so it is, just like you said it would be

"Oh, yeah, tomorrow's my birthday." 

Byleth's hold stiffens when Leonie says that. Worried she did something wrong, Leo asks "is everything cool, Bee?" 

Byleth slowly responds "I… didn't know this." Then, scratching her head: "I didn't prepare anything." 

Leonie shrugs, digging into the pillow. "Is that it? I mean, usually Raph makes a nice dinner and we all ate together and watched a movie. I don't really like a big deal to be made of this." 

"You're a big deal, though." 

Leo coos into the skin on Byleth's shoulder before kissing it. "And you're enough birthday present for me, Bee." 

Byleth sighs in a more guttural way. "That's nice of you."

"Besides," Leo adds. "We've gotta plan for the Sunset Festival. To me, that's hella important." 

"True. This is just important too." 

Flustered beyond belief, Leo changes the subject. "You know, I should probably ask since I'm thinking. When's your birthday anyways?" 

Leo waits. Byleth doesn't answer. She doesn't even move.

"Uh. Byleth. Hello? Bzz bzz?" 

Still no answer. 

"Fuckin' Sothis above, don't tell me it already happened." 

That seems to shake Byleth out of her funk. "No, it's not that. I just was thinking. Mine's next month. The twentieth." 

"So literally a month from now. Nice." 

"Convenient, to be sure." 

Leo kisses her brow in a way that says  _ I won't forget.  _ Byleth kisses her neck in a greedy way that says  _ I thought it was  _ your  _ birthday we were discussing, Leo. I won't let you forget  _ that.

She loves this nonverbal communication. 

They wake up early the next day. Leonie celebrates with a birthday jog so she doesn't spend the day in a fog, and it works because Marianne is still half-asleep. She kisses Byleth and says "I'll be back in thirty. Okay?" Byleth nods and kisses her back.

Leo jogs around the property. As she passes through the fields she remembers Byleth's map. She hasn't memorized it but she can imagine things being in the places that nothing is. Buildings. Barns. Maybe they'll build it into a campsite or garden or something like that. Maybe they'll just leave it be out of deified respect to the nature they live in. The possibilities are greater than she anticipated. 

When she returns she hears that coffee's on and Marianne's awake, smile on her face wider than any she's ever seen. Byleth sets two cups of something that isn't coffee. In fact, she isn't sure what it is until she takes a good whiff and the strong smell of cinnamon nearly shaves skin off of her nose.

"You  _ didn't, _ " she whispers, awed. She looks at Byleth. "How did you  _ know?  _ I don't remember telling you!" 

"You told me," Marianne explains. "I don't think you were paying attention though." 

Leonie looks into the mug. "Jesus, you planned this?" 

Byleth shakes her head, having taken a sip. "In a sense. She passed it on to me and I bought a tin in case I wanted to spoil you for a particular reason." She shrugs. "I'm bad at remembering dates and stuff so I like to just have backup."

Leonie whistles. "That's actually hella sweet, Bee. And practical." 

"Just hope you don't mind that it's not spontaneous." 

Leo reaches Byleth for a side hug. "Hey. The tea's here and smelling divine and it's thanks to my really nice friend and fucking  _ awesome  _ girlfriend." 

Byleth smiles, accepting the hug even with her mug in her hand. On the side, Leo notices that it says  _ Women Want Me, Fish Fear Me _ . She giggles and says "You're a dork, Byleth." 

She shrugs, blushing, and sets her mug on the table. "You dated me. So you're into dorks, I guess." 

"Guess so." 

Marianne just giggles. "You  _ both  _ are dorks, if you ask me." The way she smiles in a way that reaches her eyes makes Leonie happy as well. 

She leans up, reaching for her mug. "Well, this dork is gonna take a sip of her Four-Spice Blend, and then she's gonna snuggle with her girlfriend because guess what? It's her motherfuckin' birthday." 

Byleth watches her as she takes the first sip. Leo hopes that the evident delight on her face lighting her up is answer enough for her. 

Leo said last night she never made a big deal out of her birthday and she meant it. Tea and snuggles were nice, and it'll be nice after the work day, having the attention and care of both Marianne and Byleth. 

For now, it's time to get to work.

Leo has had to get accustomed to not getting as much progress done as she'd like. She looks at it too big-picture. She can't help it. She thinks big-picture and wonders how cutting this one path will change everything. Byleth can tell when she's antsy and says something like "how far are we along on this one trail?"

"About halfway in." 

Byleth will smile just a little. Lately, she smiles more without meaning to. "Good. So we're halfway done with today." 

Whether Byleth knows it or not, that really helps her repackage it. It's not one tiny trail between a border road and the pond in a giant property, it's… it's a trail, and they're halfway done with it. She never really thought of her work before as a thousand riding sessions a year, but of just the five or so of that day. 

So they create their world, piece by piece.

The sun goes down and Byleth is cooking. Marianne is messing with the piano, playing bits and pieces of a song that sounds like it should be heard from a car as she looks at the countryside out of the window. Byleth is a good chef and Leo wonders if she ever mentioned a favorite food, but she can't really feel that it's carried over into her being who she is now. She can't let go of the past. She hears the piano and smells the fish that Byleth is cooking. She's sitting on a worn but comfy tan couch with a coffee stain on the left arm and she feels like she's at  _ home  _ with two very valuable and amazing women and, fuck, does she  _ deserve  _ this? 

Does a juvenile delinquent with no family or future worth writing about, deserve a found family, a vision, a dream, a story worth telling? Does she deserve to be in love with the most unique woman she's ever met, and to have such a close friendship with such a kind and gentle woman? Does she deserve to have many wonderfully bizarre friends one phone call away? Does she deserve to be here and now? 

_ Of course you do, silly. _

The feeling she has right now is the best birthday gift she's ever received.

She doesn't make a big deal out of birthdays because there's not really a big deal she  _ could  _ make. The Kirsten siblings have never been outrageous. Even the proposal party was just a bunch of friends tagging along for dinner. It was nice, but… even last year, it was a little distant. Now here she is, Marianne playing the full song from earlier on the piano, Byleth holding her close as the two occasionally take bites of the meal she made, in a house where the furnace she forgot  _ again  _ is stoking a fire that seems to only be there to remind her that she belongs.

What changed? Why is  _ this  _ the nicest day of her life? Why does the lifetime spent feeling low as a person, feeling lonely at the heart, feel worth it?

She figures it out later than she expected.

"I've changed." 

She says this in Byleth's arms at the end of the day. They're both naked under the comforter and one-to-both of them feel like a furnace. Leonie is sweating hard but doesn't mind the heat.

"Hmm," Byleth considers. "Have you?" 

"Definitely," Leo insists. "Like, I used to be bitchy and rude and closed off and I didn't trust anyone. But now… I kind of do. I've been open about how I feel and what I want and… I have a path forward. And that really makes things feel better."

Byleth goes quiet for a few moments, but she always does when she's contemplating. It always takes her awhile to really form her opinions but Leo has accepted that she just really needs to feel solid in her convictions.

Byleth eventually says "I get that, but I don't think you have."

Leo tenses up. That feels  _ wrong  _ of her to say. "Seriously, Byleth. I was a shithead. You even got the brunt of me being a shithead a few times when we first met. I'm not a shithead anymore." Then, after a bit of quiet, her voice wavers an uncertain "Am I?" 

Byleth's answer comes quicker. "You never were." 

"I totally was, though." That's just a fact. A fact Leonie knows very well. 

"Lee, you always had a heart," Byleth insists firmly. "You were harsh sometimes but… I could tell you liked being nice. Wanted to be nicer. It's what gave me hope." 

Leo can't really… something. Something seems to stop her. She just whispers "For real?" 

"I think so." 

Leo just takes Byleth's hands and holds them to her throat, next to her pulse. She wants to get closer, inject Byleth into her veins and hope that her love continues to make her better, mind body and soul. Maybe that's what passion is like. Maybe that's what's new.

"I don't know why you're so good to me," she finally admits.  _ I don't know how I deserve all of this. _

"Because I love you," is the simple reply, and Goddess, Leo will never understand why Byleth loves so easily.

"I love you too, Bee," she whispers. "I love you too." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is the last chapter 
> 
> Then I'm basically gonna shut down normal work and become a trumpet for my favorite rarepair of all two days.


	21. the shadow of the day will embrace the world in gray

It's Byleth's birthday, and even though Leo doesn't like to make a big deal about birthdays, she feels like she could shower her partner in love today. Still, Byleth respected her during her birthday, so Leo's gonna do the same.

She's not the best at cooking breakfast but she whips up a few eggs and coffee. Byleth usually takes care of those and she's a great chef, but Leo's pretty decent from years of observing Raph and years before fending for herself. After a while, a lot of foster parents would stop being parents and Leo would be left on her own until her situation changed. She's gotten skills out of it and learned to be self-sufficient. It's nice to instead cook for someone else. To cook for happiness and not survival.

The door to Jeralt's old room creaks open and Marianne comes out. She's finally settled into what's now her room, and that makes it feel more like Leonie's home, living with a beloved friend rather than a ghost. It's warmer in there now that it's not a tomb, probably helped by Hilda coming through in a hurricane of design ideas and personalization that felt so specific to Marianne that it felt like a love language. 

She brews the coffee next to Leonie. "Thanks, Mari." 

"Of course." 

Leonie smiles. 

Byleth wakes up looking like a mess, newly dyed teal hair splayed and wearing a worn out white T-Shirt and boxers. Naturally, Leonie loves it, even as Byleth rubs her eyes and stretches with a yawn. 

She looks at the little spread on the coffee table. "Fuck, what's today?" 

Leonie giggles. "Your birthday, dork." 

"Oh yeah." 

Byleth sits down, looking at the food and drink with a smile. The coffee is in her favorite  _ Women Want Me, Fish Fear Me  _ mug. "I honestly don't know why I bought this," she admits. With a hint of sobriety in her voice: "Dad found it to pour coffee and he said something like 'really, Byleth?'" Still, she giggles at the memory, and that helps Leonie decide to laugh as well. 

"It's perfect for you," she responds. "Women  _ do  _ want you, fish  _ do  _ fear you, and you would buy the first novelty mug you see where you relate to the statement." 

"Maybe not the  _ first. _ " 

"You say that, but I'm amazed your truck isn't covered with bumper stickers." 

"Hell no," Byleth argues. "No one needs to know I'm a dork but me." 

"And me," Leo responds, lounging on Byleth's side. "And I guess Mari's gonna find out eventually, but I doubt she'll mind." 

"I haven't minded yet," Marianne volunteers. She's made a rocking chair her home lately, which is good because Leo was worried at how much she sat at the piano bench, a visitor and not an owner, a manager of the same place they- 

"Oh, wait a minute." 

Mari and Byleth look at her. 

"I meant to remind you. Today's your birthday  _ and  _ the Sunset Festival." 

Byleth's eyes sparkle. 

"Trust me, Leo, I didn't forget."

Nothing is perfect yet, but it's getting there.

Leo stands at the front of their new barn to welcome people. It's geared both to housing a lot of the supplies for the horses and to housing visitors with a ton of tables, chairs, and even a stage. Marianne and Raphael are cooking in a nearby kitchen area that also was just built. It was a good idea just to focus on the recreational barn area near the stables to act as the center of the property. Leo's kind of proud of herself for having it. 

She looks inside the barn. Candles and lanterns light it up in a way both homey and efficient. The new wood makes it feel a little uncanny to the rustic feel they were setting up, but hey, the barn is new and it'll take a few tries to set it up correctly.

Maya catches her eye from the table nearest the stage, Annette on the seat next to her. "Come on, Leonie!" Annette says. "Hang out!" 

Leonie looks and decides that the thirty they have is likely to be all of the people they get. The crowd mostly contains their friends (mostly Marianne's, as she  _ has  _ friends) and Leonie's enjoys getting to meet them as they pass by, but at the end of the day, she enjoys her few friends more. So she leaves the barn door and sits down at the table where the future Kirsten wives sit. 

"This, I just gotta say…" Maya mimes an explosion in her head. "Like, this wasn't even  _ here  _ last month, right? Crazy to imagine." The glint in her eye says that she  _ will  _ keep imagining.

"It's so  _ cool, _ " Annette echoed, holding Maya's hand on the table in a way that prominently shows off their mutual rings. "You and the other ladies should be proud!" 

Leo shrugs it off with a smile. "A lot of this was Byleth's idea. You should have  _ seen  _ the map she drew. Marianne was also the one to plan the festival, so I'm surrounded by great minds." 

Annette's eyes keep sparkling. "And what did you do? Cause I  _ know  _ you did something." 

"Oh, I raised the barn. Did the structures inside and everything. It wasn't much."

Annette's jaw drops. "You  _ built… _ " She gestures vaguely. " _ This?! _ " 

"Look, Nettie, Leo is one hundred percent the type of girl to raise a barn and say she didn't do much," Maya says before kissing her fiance on the cheek in the same "I'm only keeping my hands off of you in public" way that Leo and Byleth have shared. 

Guiltily, Leo laughs. "Look, I just… it's different." 

"Is she not giving herself enough credit again?" 

Leo turns around to see Byleth, hair still a wavy mess, ribbed black top showing off her muscles, and weird, it's like every thought Leonie had evaporated in a fateful instant.

"You got it, Tree," Maya says. Annette takes one look at Leo and starts cackling. 

Byleth grabs Leo's arm, smirking. "We talked about this, Lee." 

Leo scratches her neck with her free arm. "Look, I just couldn't resist bragging about you and Mari." 

"If you don't give yourself any credit I'll make a surprise speech about how amazing you are." 

Leo blushes. "Babe, that's not fair."

"I'm only really good at giving speeches about things I'm really into. Just your luck, the thing I'm into most is  _ you. _ " 

"This isn't fair," Leo breathes husky. "There are  _ children  _ here." 

As if responding to summons, Annabel waves while Maya pinches the bridge of her nose in familiar I'm-only-five-years-younger-than-you annoyance. "Happy birthday, Byleth!" 

Byleth nods. "I appreciate it. Thank you." 

Maya gestures to seats opposite of the two of them. "Take a load off, would you?" 

"We have a few minutes," Byleth insists to a visibly worried Leonie. "I prepped the fish and Raph is cooking it." 

"I'll concede," Leo responds with a shy smile. The two take their seats across from the other couple. 

Annette sneakily taps Leo's shoulder. At least, she thinks she's being sneaky. Leo turns to her and says "Uhm, I think there's a hole in your over shirt there?"

It takes Leo a few moments to realize what Annette means because the hole just seems like a feature of Byleth's old flannel. 

"Don't worry about it, Ann." Leo gingerly holds the shoulder of the girl that may as well be her future in-law, Jeralt's charm on her wrist. "It's better this way."

Raphael catches their attention with a shout so loud Leo dreads to think of how he'd sound with a microphone. "Food's ready! Fish and chips fresh from Lake Jeralt here on Valerian Ranch!" He pauses a second. "Uhm, the fish anyways! Come get some!" 

Leo and Byleth look at each other. They've mastered how to hold smiles with some weight behind them. Meanwhile, both Annette and Maya have run to the front of the serving window that Raphael is sticking his head out of. 

"Shall we eat?" Leo asks. 

Byleth nods, still smiling. "I think we should." 

Marianne is also in line with Hilda, dressed in a snazzy periwinkle pantsuit while her girlfriend is nowhere near as fancy, wearing a tank top, short shorts, and star-shaped sunglasses. Hilda's arm is draped over Marianne loosely, and Marianne reaches up to squeeze her hand every now and again. Leo whistles and says “that’s a businesswoman getup right there, ain’t it, Bee?”

“Sure is,” she responds. 

Marianne blushes. “I-it can’t be that good, can it?”

“It’d better be,” Hilda says, looking at the other couple. “I picked it out.” 

“Oh, of course it looks good,” Marianne corrects herself. “I just… do I look good in it? I feel like a kid playacting.”

Hilda giggles. “ _ Does she look good in it,  _ she says. Like I’d ever steer her wrong. Besides,” she says to Marianne. “You look good in anything.” 

Marianne blushes. “Thank you.” Hilda just coos into her neck. 

“Line’s going,” Leo points out. “We probably should too.”

“Oh! My apologies!” Marianne says at the same time that Hilda says “Ugh. Fine.” Hilda’s a bit of a princess sometimes, but at least she’ll make sure Marianne is as spoiled rotten as she is. 

They get up to the window soon after and find Ignatz in cooking wear next to Raphael. “Hey there, man!” Leo says. “Or ‘men’.” 

“You’d call us boys and you know it,” Raphael jokes. 

“Shit, I almost forgot. Anyway, can you dish us some dinner, kids?”

Raphael cackles like a lightning strike. "Absolutely, ladies."

Marianne waves at Ignatz. "Hello there, Ignatz. I'm glad-"

Ignatz gasps and his eyebrows nearly go into orbit. "Oh, ah, Marianne! Uh, there wasn't any activity in the painting whatchacall, so I-" 

Marianne raises her hand with calmness that Leo knows she wouldn't have had even a few months ago. Ignatz calms down and sighs. "So… yeah. I'm in here. Put away the paint supplies too. Turns out, not a lot of people here have kids." 

"I understand," she responds. "I'm happy for you two." 

Before Ignatz goes to say anything that would mess shit up, Raphael grabs him in a sidehug. "Gee, thanks, Marianne!" He says, voice booming. "Ah, I could tell you so much, but I don't wanna keep everyone waiting so I'll save it for later." 

Leonie's head swivels behind her. There are only like three people in line but, yeah, wouldn't be a good look for the three owners to cockblock a line, so she says "Sure sure. But either  _ you  _ tell me about it later or I ask Maya." 

"Don't ask Maya," Ignatz pleads. 

Raphael cackles once more, the grand patron saint of happiness. "Aw, Iggy, she already said we were all a family of queers. Pretty sure that's Maya-speak for approving of you!" 

The three owners chuckle politely, Byleth clearly forcing a reaction. Meanwhile Hilda is nearly doubled over from laughter. "That's fuckin' great," she says. Marianne giggles from the sight of her girlfriend. 

"Thanks for the food, gentlemen." 

"No problem, Byleth! And good luck to Leo with the speaking!" Raphael responds as the women walk away with their meals.

"And, uh, everything else! All of you!" Ignatz calls. 

Leo's all smiles as she goes to sit down with the other women. Hilda's still snort-giggling into her plate. "A family of queers," she repeats. "We really are, aren't we?" 

The idea takes a while to really run through Leo's brain. To meet, befriend, and stay with the Kirstens was one branch of friends who she'd say are like family. Then there's obviously, who she met through but certainly surpassed Jeralt in her internal registry of bonds. And through Jeralt, Marianne and eventually her girlfriend. Now Raph and Ignatz have taken a shine to each other and… she loves them all.

She and Byleth are sitting outside the barn. The sun is starting to set but it's just dusk, not night. It's chillier, but not so cold that she needs to wear a jacket. Besides, Byleth is plenty warm and plenty close, and even when they're not sleeping, she still draws comfort from her partner.

"I like this," Byleth admits. "All of this. We did it. You, me, and Marianne. Others, too, but mostly us." 

"It's…" Leo looks for words but comes up short. "I can't even…" She sighs. It's overwhelming, is what it is. "I never thought I'd be able to get all of this." 

"Me either," Byleth admits. "Before this summer, I didn't. I didn't even live here." 

Leo tries to remember life before Byleth and she can, but only in hollow memories. "I, uh… the ranch is one thing. I'm so proud of that. I really am. I just…" 

When she's quiet for too long, Byleth squeezes her arm so gently that Leo doesn't feel it at first, only realizing it when replaying her memories. 

"No one ever said it," she explains. "But like… life did. Life told me I just couldn't… love. Be loved. Never knew my parents, never knew any family. I grew up kind of angry and detached and the only people I knew for a long time were social workers and juvie officers. And things got better with Raph and Maya and Ann, but it was hard to say I loved them because I saw Raph and Maya interact. I saw Maya and Annette grow together. And I wasn't like that with anyone." 

Byleth puts a hand on her cheek. "That's never been how I knew you," she explains. "You were a grouch. But you had passion and fire for what you were doing. I know how routine can grind you down and all that. But I think we were like each other in that we just really wanted to love something- like, give it our hearts- and it turned out to be each other." 

Leonie snuggles into her chest. "I think you're onto it. Each other… and the ranch." 

"A pretty great starting point, if you ask me." 

Leo takes her hand into hers. She might be ready to kneel and promise a vow of eternal devotion, but even she knows to give it time, even if she knows how it will end up.

"Not just that," she says. "Marianne. Maya. Raph. Ann. Iggy. Hilda." And hell, pretty soon other friends of friends will worm in there, like Mercedes. "People that are, like… Hilda had the right of it. Like family." 

Byleth thinks about it. It's visible, a buzz in her chest like the bee that she is. "You know, between you and me, I don't think I'd have pegged Hilda as the insightful one." 

Leo busts up laughing. "Right? New to me!" The two chuckle a little bit, alone on the side of the barn, of the ranch, with their partner. It's such a lovely feeling.

Byleth gently tips Leonie's chin up. Leo gets the message and meets her for a kiss. It's soft and drawn out, a moment of still life in the motion of their worlds.

They pull apart. Leo tries to hide her greed but can't help but pout a little. Byleth looks a little sad as well- it's not much, but Leo can tell. "Later," she says. "Right now, we have to be responsible adults." 

"Right, right." 

Leo still sneaks a kiss on Byleth's cheek… and a cheeky little pinch on her ass. Byleth laughs once, rough and throaty and expectant.

"Let's get her done."

Leo taps the microphone to make sure it works. It does, and now her head hurts from the feedback but whatever. It's intimidating to speak to a full barn house of visitors because she's very much not done this before, but Byleth isn't able to speak to a whole crowd without extreme sensory overload, and there's no way in hell Marianne could or would. Besides, this is Leonie's place to be useful. May as well start making it her wheelhouse.

So she starts.

"Hello-  _ fuck!  _ Uhm!" The microphone was louder than she expected. Looking out, she can already see Maya cracking up into Annette's arms. "That was loud, sorry. Anyway, uhm." The crowd looks at her with more respect than she's used to after shouting the F-Bomb over loudspeakers, which  _ has  _ happened before, don't ask. 

Ugh. Get the show on the road, Leo.

"I want to thank y'all for showing up to Valerian Ranch. Like, I figured we could wrangle our friends and such over here to this humble property on the sidelines of Enbarr, but I definitely didn't expect a full barnhouse. I don't think any of the three in charge did. I guess that's the thing about dreams. When you fantasize about them everything goes so smoothly so to see us actually get there is like… am I even awake?

"So it means a lot for so many to show up. Some old clients I remember taking on horseback. I really did miss you. Some friends that I expected to show and some I don't think any of us did but, you know, it's nice to see you. That you care. I don't think any of the three of us came from backgrounds that we thought would lead to such a show of community, but, like… I'm nothing if not humbled." She sighs, choking back a sob. "I'm way more emotional lately, my bad." 

"You got this!" Annette yells from the crowd. There's some polite laughter and Leo tries to think past any of the flustering she just got to keep talking. 

"Oh! Thanks Ann, love you!" Leonie calls back. Annette pulls an invisible force to her heart and looks up with starry eyes. "Folks, I could tell you about these people for ages. But if you want anecdotes, you'll have to come to me later because right now, it's about Valerian Ranch. It's about making something out of this place. The memories I have here on and off the clock. Valerian wasn't supposed to be… anything, really, but a business that shut down. The fact that is… well, that's due to the combined energy of three women. That's one of whom I'm proud to call a close friend-" Marianne ducks into Hilda's lap, causing Hilda to giggle and pull her head up. "And one of whom I'm very proud to call my partner." 

Byleth parks up at that, meeting Leo's gaze with a kind smile, one that's proud back at her. She quickly blows a kiss at Leo, who lets the love wash over her.

"And one of them… I'm proud to just be."

For the first time in her life, Leonie is proud to be herself. Whatever she says and does afterward… that's a part of herself that no one ever seemed to expect from her other than Byleth.

She's going to keep making herself proud

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I enjoyed writing this so much. It's the work that hss most surprised me as it developed bc... there was no solid plot, no solid idea... everything was made up as it went to calm the storms in my mind. But not only is it potentially my most well received work, it's one I'm very proud of, especially knowing that Leo gets WAY too much stick in the fandom. Now, she's one of my top 3 and I'm not ashamed of it.
> 
> I'll see you all next time.


End file.
